PENIS REQUEST FOR A RAISE

I, the penis , hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

I do physical labor, I work at great depth, I plunge head first into everything I do, I do not get weekends off or holidays off. I work in a damp environment, I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation, I work in high temperatures, and my work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,

P.Niss

The Response:

Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hour straight, you fall asleep after brief work periods, you do not always follow the orders of the management team, you do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations. You need to be pressured and stimulated to start working, you leave your work place messy at the end of your shift,you will retire way before 65, you can't do double shifts, and if that's not enough you have been spotted entering and exiting the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,

V.Gina