THE DIRECTORS GO WILD AT EVERTONS ATTACKING PLAY.....

THIS GUY IS TOTALLY CRAZY

STRANGE BUT TRUE

• Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.
• Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
• The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca-Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
• Look at your zipper. See the initials YKK? It stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the world's largest zipper manufacturer.
• There are more chickens than people in the world.
• China has more English speakers than the United States.
• According to Genesis 1:20-22, the chicken came before the egg.
• The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.
• 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
• American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
• The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
• Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

IT'S A FUNNY OLD WORLD...

JEANS A BIT TIGHT PERHAPS???

Thanks Jess

SHADDUP YOUR FACE

BRAZIL V RUSSIA

The line ups for the upcoming bi centenial match between Brazil and Russia will be released next week. We have been fortunate enough to have obtained a sneak preview.

BRAZIL

1 Pinnochio
2 Momento 3 Borneo
4 Fellatio 5 Tango 6 Subbuteo
7 Stereo (R) 8 Brasso 9 Vimto 10 Banjo 11 Stereo (L)

11 Masterchev 10 Swedishchev 9 Getcherkitov 8 Fukkov 7 Noufukkov
6 Nasticof 5 Tikklycof 4 Chesticof
3 Sodov 2 Downillski
1 Whojanikabolikov

RUSSIA

HINTS FOR STUPID PEOPLE

Don't throw a brick straight up.

If you ever meet the President, don't offer him the surprise gift of a gun by whipping it suddenly out of your coat pocket.

Don't stargaze with friends on a hilltop in a thunderstorm and use metal fishing rods as pointers.

If you're riding a bicycle down a hill, turn your head before you spit.

Just because your body has orifices doesn't mean you should put things into them.

Don't iron clothes while wearing them.

Don't kick porcupines with bare feet.

Don't test the strength of your skull with a nail gun.

Don't lick dry ice.

If you want to chew gum, buy some. Don't use the gum from underneath the seats at schools and movie theaters even though it's free.

Even if you need to get downstairs quickly, don't jump out of a window – use the stairs.

Don't tie yourself to an airplane propeller.

No matter how tempting it is to be one with nature, stay on the outside of all fences at the zoo.

And if you are one of the stupid people who have done these things….

Under no circumstances should you ever reproduce.

ENGINEERING QUESTION

A backhoe weighing 8 tons is on top of a flatbed trailer and heading east on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas . The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, reinforced with 1 1/2 inch steel rebar spaced at
6 inch intervals in a crisscross pattern layered at 1 foot vertical spacing.

Solve: When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half? ( Assume no effect for headwind and no braking by the driver…)

Extra Credit: Solve for the time and distance required for the entire rig to come to a complete stop after hitting the overpass at the speed calculated above.

Please send your answers here. :

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