(click on the link below the picture, but it is graphic)
Friday, May 04, 2007
LANGUAGE TRANSLATOR
Are you in need of a GREAT TRANSLATOR
AjaxTranslator
Start typing any text you want to be translated into the first box. The words should be automatically translated into the language of your choice and appear in the lower box. To switch languages, simply click on the language you would like to translate from and then proceed to select the language you would like to translate into. In order to swap the contents of the two boxes, use a double click.
AjaxTranslator
Start typing any text you want to be translated into the first box. The words should be automatically translated into the language of your choice and appear in the lower box. To switch languages, simply click on the language you would like to translate from and then proceed to select the language you would like to translate into. In order to swap the contents of the two boxes, use a double click.
NEVER AGAIN
Never Again Love
Don't do me breakfast just yet luv,
I'm staying up here in me bed,
I've a mouth like a shot putters armpit,
and ten kids running round in me head.
Oh why did I have that last lager,
the rooms spinning around once again,
please turn out the light
its shining so bright,
that it's blinding the cells in me brain.
I'm sorry for showing you up luv,
I know that you must be upset,
I'm easily led, just leave me in bed,
can't you just forgive and forget.
Your mothers not really a witch dear,
and she doesn't fly round on a broom,
and I hope and I pray
she didn't hear me say,
when she dies, that I'll dance on her tomb.
Did the neighbours calm down in the end luv,
they made twice as much noise as me,
I frightened their cat
and I'm sorry for that.
But I desperately needed that pee.
You don't have to keep coming up luv,
just bring me paper and fags,
then when I run out of reading
I might just need feeding
Don't do me breakfast just yet luv,
I'm staying up here in me bed,
I've a mouth like a shot putters armpit,
and ten kids running round in me head.
Oh why did I have that last lager,
the rooms spinning around once again,
please turn out the light
its shining so bright,
that it's blinding the cells in me brain.
I'm sorry for showing you up luv,
I know that you must be upset,
I'm easily led, just leave me in bed,
can't you just forgive and forget.
Your mothers not really a witch dear,
and she doesn't fly round on a broom,
and I hope and I pray
she didn't hear me say,
when she dies, that I'll dance on her tomb.
Did the neighbours calm down in the end luv,
they made twice as much noise as me,
I frightened their cat
and I'm sorry for that.
But I desperately needed that pee.
You don't have to keep coming up luv,
just bring me paper and fags,
then when I run out of reading
I might just need feeding
I'll try one of those boil in the bags
tHANKS TO merseypride.stumbleupon.com
tHANKS TO merseypride.stumbleupon.com
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
12 STEPS TO RAISING A JUVENILE DELINQUENT
| Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants. In this way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
| |  Quarrel frequently in the presence of your children. In this way they won’t be so shocked when the home is broken up later. |
 When he picks up bad words, laugh at him. This will make him think he’s cute.
| |  Give the child all the spending money he wants. Never let him earn his own. |
 Never give him any spiritual training. Wait until he is twenty-one and then let "him decide for himself".
| |  Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, and comfort. See that his every sensual desire is gratified. |
 Avoid the use of "wrong". He may develop a guilt complex. This will condition him to believe later, when he is arrested, that society is against him and he is being persecuted.
| |  Let him read any printed material, and listen to any music he can get his hands on. Be careful that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized, but let his mind feast on garbage. |
 Pick up everything he leaves lying around. Do everything for him so that he will be experienced in throwing all responsibility on others.
| |  When he gets into real trouble, apologize to yourself by saying, "I could never do anything with him." |
 Take his part against neighbors, teachers, and policemen. They are all prejudiced against your child.
| |  Prepare for a life of grief. You will likely have it. |
KITCHEN MEDICINE BOOK
Do you know, you probably have the answer to all your common ailments sitting in your kitchen.
Just click the link below
Just click the link below
THINK ABOUT THIS
An elder Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A fight is going on inside me.. it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith." "This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too", he added.
The Grandchildren thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied... "The one you feed."
THE EXTRA CAMEL
THE EXTRA CAMEL"
Once upon a time there was a rich old Bedouin Chief whose wealth was measured in the number of camels he owned. This chief had 17 camels and on his deathbed he called his three sons together and told them that he wanted to share his camels out to his sons when he died. He wanted the first son to have half of his 17 camels, the second son to have one third of his 17 camels, and the third son was to have one ninth of the 17.
When the rich old Bedouin Chief died his sons got together to decide who should have the camels and in what proportion. The eldest son was not very pleased because half of 17 was not a whole number, in fact it came to eight remainder one. The second son was very annoyed because his one third did not work out either. His third share came to five remainder two! When the third son came to work out his share he was absolutely livid because his one ninth share did not work out either!! One remainder eight was not what he wanted to hear.
During their lives, when their father was alive, these sons never argued but now they were at each others throats, they just could not decide the proportions to divide up their father's legacy!! In fact they decided that they would have to kill some of the camels in order for them all to have their fair share but that would not leave them as rich as they would otherwise be. They picked up their swords and scimitars and were just about to start the massacre when their Uncle appeared on the scene, riding his own camel, just having heard of his brother's death.
He was very very annoyed because his nephews could not agree what to do; and they were just about to kill some camels, and probably each other too!! But he did appreciate their problem. So he said to them "I am old now and find it difficult sometimes to ride my camel. Here, have my camel and put it in with the others so you can fairly divide up your inheritance without any bloodshed. There will be 18 camels now."
So now there was 18 camels to be shared out. The eldest son had his share of half, which was 9 camels. The second son had his share of one third of the camels, which was 6 camels; and the third son had his one ninth share which was two.
Their Uncle was now very pleased, having helped the nephews to avoid any bloodshed. He watched them go away with 9 + 6 + 2 camels in their fair shares, the total camels being 17. So he got on his own camel, which was left over, and went home!!!!!
So how was it that there was one left over? Why couldn't the sons share out the camels in the first place? The moral? Share things and you can solve the problems. But that doesn't answer the questions. How was it that the Uncle could go home on his own camel?
Original author unknown.
Monday, April 30, 2007
HERE'S A COOL TOOL... ONLINE STOPWATCH
If you need to time anything just click here. tools.arantius.com/stopwatch
IF THIS DOESN'T MAKE YOU THINK.... NOTHING WILL
Just a few plastic bags ...right
Same plastic bags but shot from further away
Depicts 60,000 plastic bags, the number used in the US every five seconds.
FOR MORE LOOK HERE www.chrisjordan.com/current_set2.php
YOUR COFFEE IS MAKING YOU FAT !!!
The American nutritional advocacy group, the Center for Science in the Public Interest, now says anyone who feels virtuous for grabbing a Starbucks latte, rather than something from McDonald's, is misguided.
"Most people wouldn't consider packing in a quarter-pounder between breakfast and lunch," says the centre's nutritionist, Jayne Hurley.
"But it's perfectly possible to get more than 500 calories in a Starbucks drink.
"Many people assume that drinks are not calorific, but some contain huge amounts of calories and fat," says Bridget Aisbitt, a nutrition scientist at the British Nutrition Foundation.
"Some of the fashionable gourmet teas and coffees have the same number of calories as a small meal and should be drunk infrequently and with caution."
All figures given here are based on averages in drinks made from whole milk (where relevant) from High Street coffee chains.
LATTE
What is it: 1-2 shots of espresso with steamed milk.
Calories: Small, 200; large, 341.
Fat: Small, 10.6g (6.6 saturated); large, 17.9g (11.2 saturated).
Verdict: Surprisingly unhealthy. A large latte contains almost one third of the daily recommended fat intake for women. Add a vanilla shot and you 380 calories and 14.5g of fat in each large cup. This is equivalent to ten rashers of bacon.
How to make it healthier: Stick to skimmed milk and the calories in your large latte drop to 160, reduce saturated fat to zero and still provide a healthy dose (450mg) of calcium. Soya milk contains 50 calories more per large serving, but is still healthier than whole milk.
CAPPUCINO
What is it: A mix of steamed and foamed milk added to an espresso shot.
Calories: Small, 122; large, 207.
Fat: Small, 6.4g (4g saturated); large, 10.7g (6.7g saturated).
Verdict: Better than lattes. But, with 6.7g of arteryclogging saturated fat in a large mug, it's hardly healthy.
How to make it healthier: Ask for skimmed milk. This will remove the fat and cut the calories to 129 in a large drink (76 in a small). Sprinkle on cinnamon instead of chocolate.
AMERICANO
What is it: 2-3 espresso shots topped with water, and optional milk.
Calories: Small, 11; large, 23 (more with milk and sugar).
Fat: None (unless you add milk).
Verdict: Most people add milk, but to cut calories make sure it is skimmed. A few studies suggest that a high intake of caffeine promotes the leeching of calcium from bones, but the National Osteoporosis Foundation says adding milk will offset any such risk.
How to make it healthier: Avoid full-fat milk and sugar. Better still, take it black.
ESPRESSO
What is it: Coffee and water.
Calories: Single, 6; double, 11.
Verdict: If you don't add sugar (10 calories per sachet), this is the lowest-calorie coffee. Consuming more than 5-6 cups a day is not recommended by doctors or nutritionists, but a strong black coffee 1-2 hours prior to exercise has been shown to be beneficial. Substances in caffeine trigger the release of fats into the bloodstream during activity, enabling the body to use fat as its primary energy source, say researchers at the Australian Institute of Sport. You will also burn up the fat faster.
How to make it healthier: A macchiato (espresso with foamed milk) provides some calcium and not many more calories (there are only 20 in a double shot drink). But avoid caramel and other flavoured macchiatos - a large one has 390 calories and 17.4g of fat.
HOT CHOCOLATE
What is it: Chocolate drunk with whole milk, often topped with whipped cream.
Calories: Small, 357; large, 549.
Fat: Small, 18.7g (10.7g saturated); large, 27g (15.2g).
Verdict: A large cup has the calories and fat content of three hot dogs, according to the Centre for Science in the Public Interest. Worse is a large, white, hot chocolate containing a whopping 719 calories and 33.4g of fat. Be wary of fast-food chains that make hot chocolates not with milk, but with a mix of sugar and non-dairy creamer (containing the unhealthy partially hydrogenated soybean oil and more sugar).
How to make it healthier: Go for a small, no-whip, skinny hot chocolate to drop your calories to 209.
VANILLA FRAPPUCCINO
What is it: A blended creme drink made from a coffee-free mix of sugar, syrup, milk and ice, possibly topped with whipped cream.
Calories: Small, 344; large, 530.
Fat: Small, 12.5g (7g saturated); large, 18g (9.9g saturated).
Verdict: Blended cremes are a mix of sugar, milk and ice and contain just 190 calories in a small cup. But, the addition of syrups, such as banana and chocolate, turn them into a dieter's disaster. You'd be better off with a small pizza.
How to make it healthier: Skip the whipped cream to save 94 calories (131 in a large frappuccino). Choose a small, low-fat coffee frappuccino with no cream - just 119 calories.
MOCHA
What is it: Three-quarters steamed milk, 3-4 pumps of chocolate sauce and 2-3 shots of espresso topped with whipped cream.
Calories: Small, 255; large, 484.
Fat: Small, 9.3g (5.4g saturated); large, 25.3g (14.3g saturated).
Verdict: Very fatty. This is sweetened with a massive 41g of sugar in a large cup. Things could be worse: a large white chocolate mocha with whipped cream contains 628 calories and 28.9g of fat.
How to make it healthier: Order a small skinny (skimmed milk), no-whip (without cream) dark mocha and your calorie count drops to 175.
CHAI TEA LATTE
What is it: A spiced tea mixed with whole milk and honey.
Calories: Small, 210; large, 362.
Fat: Small, 5.3g (3.3g saturated); large, 9.2g (5.7 saturated).
Verdict: Though it sounds healthier than coffee (tea has antioxidants), whole milk and honey bumps up calories and fat. A large drink is more calorific than a cheese sandwich.
How to make it healthier: Choose a milk-free iced tea (black or green) for just 80 calories and no saturated fat. A sugar-free black tea is better still. It is fat-free and rich in disease-fighting antioxidants.
PIE IN THE SKY
A shrill scream pierces the afternoon air. Gingerly, I prise my sweaty hands away from my eyes to find all of my dinner companions staring at me in shock. It's then that I realise the noise is coming from me.
"Are you OK?" asks the young man to my left. "That was some scream." Paralysed by fear, I am physically unable to reply or even to blush. Instead, I screw my eyes shut and emit a long, low moan.
The reason for my distress is simple: I have foolishly accepted the worst dinner party invitation of my life. But it's not the other guests that are so unbearable, it's the location.
Instead of a sitting round a cosy kitchen table, we are dangling from a crane 150ft in the sky, complete with dining chairs, table, crockery and even a slick-suited waiter who pours us a glass of wine as we swing gently in the breeze.
Dinner In The Sky is for people who expect more from their restaurants than four concrete walls and a solid floor. Instead, diners perch around a massive table, which is suspended from a crane high up in the air.
It sounds completely insane, but as the most unusual - and entirely legal - way of getting high over dinner, it is the new must-do experience for the super-rich and adventure-hungry who yearn for something a little more extreme at mealtimes.
Although based in Belgium, the "restaurant" can be driven to any destination in the world.
There have already been dining events in Paris and Brussels, while New York and Niagara Falls are on the agenda.
What's more, for a mere £10,000, they'll drive it over to Britain for you to host your own sky-high dinner party.
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