Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
YOU WANT A DAY OFF?
A Day Off
So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for. There are 365 days per year available for work. There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work. Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available. You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available. With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work. You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work. We are off 5 holidays per ear, so your available working time is down to 15 days. We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be damned if you are going to take that day
TODAYS JOKES
She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. Then I caught her spending £65.00 on make-up. And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't. She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. I told her that was what the beer was for.
I don't think she's coming back
A Somalian arrives in
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr Englishman for letting me in this country!" But the passerby says "You are mistaken, I am a Pakistani".
The man goes on and encounters another passerby.
"Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in
"I not English. I am from
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful
He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you an English citizen?". She says, "No, I am from
So he is puzzled, and asks her, "Where are all the English?" The Romanian lady looks at her watch, shrugs and says .....
"Probably at work".
Tony Blair is at his weekly meeting with The Queen, when he turns round and says: "As I'm the PM, I'm thinking of changing how the Country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom", to which the Queen replies,
"I'm sorry Mr Blair, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge ........ and you're not a King." Tony Blair thought a while and then said: "How about a Principality then?" to which the Queen replied "Sorry again, but to be a Principality, you have to be a Prince ............ and you're not a Prince, Mr Blair".
Again, Blair thought long and hard and came up with "How about an Empire then?" The Queen, getting a little pissed off by now replied "Sorry again, Mr Blair, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge ............. and you are not an Emperor."
Before Tony Blair could utter another word, The Queen said: "I think we're doing quite nicely as a Country" ...
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