MY DADS JOKES (NORTYGORDY SENIOR)

MY DADS JOKES.... YOU HAD BETTER LAUGH BECAUSE THERE'S A PICTURE OF HIM BELOW!!

Gene Pitney died last week,his family asked the undertaker to make him an oak coffin. The undertaker said it would take two weeks to make in oak, but he could make one in twenty four hours from balsa.

A man went in to a works canteen and the woman asked him what would you like, he said just a sandwich,she said what would you like on your sausage, he said plenty of lipstick please.

A man knocked a prostitute a down with his car.When he asked was she 0K she was yelling she had gone blind. When the police came he explained what had happend but he wasn't sure she was blind maybe she wanted to it look worse than it was. The policeman said I will check, he held three fingers up and asked her how many fingers have I got up, she shouted my god I'm paralysed as well.

A lot of people do not know that President Mugabe is in fact a Yorkshireman if you spell his name in reverse it is EBAGUM

A man was at the checkout in the supermarket,he had one egg,one sausage,one tomatoe and one mushroom.The checkout girl said I bet you live on your own,he said your absolutley right,how did you know that, She said because your an ugly bastard.