Shopping Scam.
In Sainsburys, while loading your shopping into the car, you may be approuched by two fit 18 yr old girls in skimpy clothing. They wash your windscreen with their tits hanging out and then ask you for a lift home as payment.
On the way home they strip off and go down on each other. Then one climbs in the front and sucks you off. The other then nicks your wallet !
I had mine stolen last Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday again on Saturday and also yesterday !
A woman is standing nude in front of her bedroom mirror and looking at herself.
She says to her husband, “I’m horribly fat and ugly, please pay me a compliment.”
“Sure,” the husband replies, “your eye sight's fucking 20-20!”
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four hour operation. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet.
Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet."
He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"
Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in her other hand and takes a close look and says," There's nothing wrong with them!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask and says very slowly, "That was very nice but listen very, very closely - are... my... test...results...back?"
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