Two blondes were in a darkened theater. One whispers to the other, "The guy next to me is jerking off."
"Just ignore him," her friend said.
"I can't," replied the first woman. "He's using my hand."
A guy goes up to a girl in a bar and says, "You want to play 'Magic'?" She says, "What's that?" He says, "We go to my house and fuck, and then you disappear."
A guy races into the men's toilet, burns up to the urinal, whips out his twelve-inch dick and says with a sigh of relief, "Phew, just made it." The guy next to him looks over and says, "Impressive, can you make me one too?"
A bloke walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar, which reads:
Cheese
Chicken
Hand Job: $10.
Checking his wallet for the necessary funds, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men. "Yes?" she answers with a knowing smile, "Can I help you?" "I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?" "Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am" The man replies "Well wash your bloody hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"
Pedro goes into jail for the first time and gets thrown in a mean lookin dude named Bubba . Bubba says to Pedro "what do you want to be the mommy or the daddy" Pedro figuring he doesn’t have much choice naturally says " The daddy" To which Bubba replies "well come over here and suck mommy's dick".
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