WHAT IS GLOBALIZATION

Finally,
a definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate:

Question:
What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer:
Princess
Diana’s
death.

Question:
How come?

Answer :

An
English princess
with an
Egyptian boyfriend

crashes
in a French tunnel,
driving a

German
car

with a
Dutch engine,

driven
by a Belgian

who was
drunk

on
Scottish whisky,

(check the bottle before you
change the spelling),

followed
closely by

Italian
Paparazzi,

on
Japanese motorcycles;

treated
by an American doctor,
using

Brazilian
medicines.

This is
sent to you by

an
American,

using
Bill Gates’s technology,

and
you’re probably reading
this on your computer,

that
uses Taiwanese chips,
and

a

Korean
monitor,

assembled
by

Bangladeshi
workers

in a
Singapore plant,

transported
by Indian

lorry-drivers,

hijacked
by Indonesians,

unloaded by
Sicilian longshoremen,

and
trucked to you by Mexican illegals…. .

.

.

.

.

.

That, my friends,
is what I call Globalization!

FANCY DRESS PARTY

Hope this gives you a chuckle on an otherwise dreary morning! . . . . .

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:

Dear Sir,

Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.

We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head,

stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.

MIDDLE AGED WOMEN SHOULD STAY HOME

WILLY WIGS

CLICK PICTURES TO ENLARGE

BEER TESTER

For the true and discriminating aficionado, a glass of the finest beer should only be partaken if it is the correct temperature. The subtle nuance of the melded grains..... The fragile and fleeting taste of the brewers art..... Can only be truly appreciated if that golden elixir is properly chilled.
To this end, advanced studies candidates in the Graduate Engineering Department of Michigan Tech have developed an easily used fully portable Beer Temperature Tester which easily indicates whether the beverage is acceptably chilled or not. To test the beer, simply insert the tester into the glass.

V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V

After the tester has been immersed for a period of no less than fifteen seconds, remove both probes and observe the indication.

V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V
V

The beer on the left is the correct temperature.

thanks to Mike Molloy

HOW TO NEGOTIATE WITH YOUR DENTIST

make sure you watch to the very end

ASK MRS. NORTY

Dear Mrs. Norty,
I have been married for 15 years and so still have ten years to go before I can divorce my husband and get the house mortgage-free. At the start of our relationship we had an active and healthy sex life but thankfully, since the kids were born, he has found it increasingly hard to maintain himself in an upright position for take-off and landing. Up until recently I was perfectly happy with this situation, but now one of my boyfriends has got a job on the rigs while another has signed up as a long-distance lorry driver. If I can’t pick-up anyone down the pub I sometimes have to go for two or three days without sex.

Out of desperation I pointed out to my husband that watermelons have the same stimulating properties as Viagra and he agreed to try one out. However, he enjoyed it so much that he has moved it into our bed and asked me to sleep in the spare room because I am putting him off. He says if he leaves it in the microwave for a few seconds first it feels better than the real thing, or his sock.
Sammi
Salisbury.
Mrs Norty says: Dear Sammi,
A lot of men are turned on by fruit and vegetables, mainly because they do not demand a pair of shoes and a trip to the hairdressers every time you peel off their outer layers. Maybe you should incorporate his interest in this area into your love-making? Next time he’s about to sneak off to his study to look at the Tesco website tell him to bring the laptop into the lounge and the pair of you can look at it together. I know a lot of people claim that women do not respond to pornography in the same way as men but my heart certainly starts to race a bit when I see a picture of a nice, firm courgette. However, steer clear of the marrows as they will only remind you of what you are missing. If none of this works try turning up the power on the microwave. It will not do anything for your love life but it will boil the end of his privates, which will be a laugh.

Dear Mrs. Norty,
I have been married for 20 years and my husband has completely lost interest in sex. So much so that I do not have to smear my face in nightcream or sellotape a bit of string to my inside privates to stop him from clambering aboard at the weekend and see-sawing away like an arthritic duck. However, last Friday, instead of getting our traditional takeaway, he burst into the front room naked, said we needed to do something to spice up our love life, smeared his pork kebab with some Patak’s Original Balti Paste and asked me for a go in my tandoori oven. I was outraged. He knows I’m more of a Tikka Mahkni girl. Nevertheless, I’m ashamed to say I found the whole thing quite stimulating. I think it must be the coriander as he still doesn’t really touch the sides, if you catch my drift. Clearly he thinks the same as now he’s demanding I let him put his shashlik in my aloo chat. Isn’t that illegal?
Navneeta,
Norwich

Mrs Norty says: Dear Navneeta,
Offering up your aloo chat to the man in your life can be a wonderfully intense experience, or so I am told by some demented perverts, but in my experience it is much more likely to make your nose bleed and leave you walking like John Wayne for a week. If he tries anything like that again I would grab hold of his shashlik, smear it with some Vindaloo and then make a run for it while his eyes are watering. Lock yourself in the bathroom and call the Police. Of course it’s illegal. You don’t live in Wales!

Thanks to www.thedailymash.co.uk

HOW NOT TO USE A DRIVE THRU

http://view.break.com/534959 - Watch more free videos

DEAR EMPLOYEE

Dear employee:

As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future.

Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the next fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately. This program will be known as S.L.A.P. (Severance of Late-Aged Personnel).

Employees who are SLAPPED will be given the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED employees can request a review of their employment records before actual retirement takes place.

This review phase of the program will be called S.C.R.E.W. (Survey of Capabilities of Retired Elderly Workers).

All employees who have been SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This appeal is called S.H.A.F.T. (Study by Higher Authority Following Termination).

Under the terms of this new policy, an employee may be SLAPPED once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems appropriate. If an employee follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to get: HE.R.P.E.S. (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel’s Early Severance) or CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment).

As H.E.R.P.E.S. and C.L.A.P. are considered benefit plans, any employee who has received H.E.R.P.E.S . or C.L.A.P. will no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Management wishes to assure the younger employees who remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training employees through our: Special High Intensity Training ( S.H.I.T.).

We take pride in the amount of S.H.I.T. our employees receive. We have given our employees more S.H.I.T. than any company in this area. If any employee feels they do not receive enough S.H.I.T. on the job, see your immediate supervisor. Your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the S.H.I.T. you can stand.

Once again, thanks for all your years of loyal service with us!

The Management

SINATRA GETS COMPUTER SAVVY

NO SOBER PEOPLE IN IRELAND

IT'S OFFICIAL..... I TYPED INTO THIS SEARCH ENGINE

goldenpages.ie/search/Ireland/sober_people.html

CLICK THE LINK

OF COURSE THEY'RE SCISSORS

There are times when kids draw something and you just have to say... 'Wow, tell me about your picture,' because you have no clue what it is.........................

This one you know right away...Enjoy!

OF COURSE THEY'RE SCISSORS!

QUOTE FROM THE MUM:

THIS IS MY KINDERGARTNER'S ARTISTIC RENDERING OF A PAIR OF SCISSORS. I WONDER WHAT HIS TEACHER THOUGHT. I ALLOWED MYSELF JUST A SMALL SMIRK WHEN I SAW IT.

I WAITED UNTIL HE WAS OUT OF THE ROOM UNTIL I STARTED LAUGHING.

WELL, OF COURSE THEY'RE SCISSORS.

IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WITH A SMALL CHILD OR IF YOU ARE A TEACHER YOU WILL LOVE THIS!

AS YOU WILL OF COURSE ALL KNOW, I WILL BE REQUIRED TO PROUDLY DISPLAY THIS ON MY REFRIGERATOR FOR A LENGTH OF TIME.................

PICS OF THE WEEK

POLITICALLY INCORRECT (THEY WILL UPSET EVERYBODY)

My father told me to marry a girl who has the same opinions as my family. Yeah right, like I’m going to marry someone who thinks I’m a lazy arsehole.

Political correctness has gone too far. These days I am expected to get permission off my own wife before I make love to her. Well it seems a shame to wake her up.

I can't fucking stand Mark Lawrenson. If I want someone to constantly interrupt my enjoyment of the football with pointless, witless, ill-informed shite then I'll get a girlfriend.

I remember the best day of my life. In church, friends and family all around, my wife next to me, I turned, kissed her on the cheek, closed the lid and watched her burn.

My girlfriend said to me that she wanted me to tease her, so I said: "Who’s a little fat piggy then?"

What the fuck is the world coming to? My Mother had her bag stolen this morning, there is piss everywhere...

So they've found a battered Paki in Dewsbury - they'll eat fucking anything, won't they?

What's pink, hard and comes every morning?
The Financial Times cryptic crossword

Ann Summers has brought out a new lubricant called KY Terry.
It's designed to help you slip in the box more easily.

How come the film 'White Men Can't Jump' isn't racist but, when I try to make a film called 'Black Men Can't Get Jobs', I get called a racist?

GIFS OF THE WEEK

JOKES OF THE WEEK

My dad had to go to the hospital. He had a really weird accident, he managed somehow to get a vacuum cleaner stuck up his arse. I phoned the hospital to see how he was going.

I said "is my dad with the vacuum cleaner stuck up his arse there?"

They said: "yes he's here"

I said "how is he?"

They said: “I’m afraid he’s going to dy son”

A bloke goes into the Job Centre in Melbourne and sees a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more. "Can you give me some more details about this?" he asks the guy behind the desk.The Job Centre guy sifts through his files and replies, "Uh... yes here it is... OK, the job entails you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and wash their nether regions. Then apply shaving foam and shave off all their pubic hair then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the Gynaecologist's examination. There's an annual salary of $45,000 but I'm afraid you'll have to go to Sydney." "Oh why, is that where the job's based?" "No, that's where the end of the queue is!"

Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any Ducks out there, I'm not going hunting."

So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog came back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He saw only two ducks out There."

Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?" Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back He said, "I don't believe it! Where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!"

Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too." So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has.

The breeder obliges, and Earl brings the dog home, and tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in its mouth and starts humping Earl's leg. Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a Fraud. I want my money back!"

The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and started humping his leg.

The breeder says, "Earl, he was trying to tell you that there are more fucking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!"

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." The third one responded, "Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem; knock on wood!" as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them, "That must be the door, I'll get it!"

A young farmer doesn't have the slightest idea about breeding his sheep so, not wanting to display his ignorance, gives the vet a ring, and only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.
So, he loads the sheep into his LandRover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take and loads them in the LandRover again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure and then brings them back and goes to bed.
The following morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.
'No,' she says, 'they're all in the LandRover and one of them is beeping the horn.'

SILLY OLD BUGGERS

CLASSIC FROM IRISH RADIO

WEDDING OF THE YEAR

BEST MOVIE ENDINGS EVER

Click on titles to watch clips: and tell us your favourites

20 Se7en
David Fincher, 1995

Kevin Spacey’s gruesomely creative serial killer takes the Seven Deadly Sins as his inspiration for a series of horrible and slightly sanctimonious murders. Can Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman catch the killer before he dispatches all of his targets?

The “head in a box” denouement is a jaw-dropper of an ending. Pitt and Spacey’s characters take on the mantles of Wrath and Envy, respectively: Spacey’s jealousy of the cop’s domestic bliss with bride Gwyneth Paltrow causes him to chop her head off; Pitt’s rage and grief prompts him to execute the killer on the spot. WENDY IDE

19 The Blair Witch Project
Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sanchez, 1999

After numerous screen freak-outs, lost students Heather (Heather Donohue), Mike (Mike Williams) and Josh (Josh Leonard) are in a deserted house. Heather screams, Mike is killed by an unseen assailant and the last shot we see, in Heather’s grainy video footage, is of Josh standing in a catatonic stupor, facing the corner walls of the basement, like a punished child. Creepy. KEVIN MAHER

18 Memento
Christopher Nolan, 2000

Leonard (Guy Pearce) is so traumatised by his wife’s murder that he is incapable of remembering anything, bar the occasional jigsaw-like flashback. As he pieces together the clues and tracks down the man who killed his wife, we share his revelations and his triumphs, sympathising with his need to remind himself of what he’s done using notes and tattoos. Then we realise that Leonard is on his way to kill an innocent man. As Leonard drives away his satisfaction at killing his wife’s “murderer” is, we realise, only temporary. We have been had. Leonard’s amnesiac quest for revenge has turned him into a serial killer, doomed to repeat his actions ad infinitum. And we have been on his side. NIGEL KENDALL

17 Planet of the Apes
Franklin J Schaffner, 1968

Dignified seminaked astro-hunk George Taylor (Charlton Heston) has finally escaped from his brutish gorilla overlords, and is taking a coastal canter when it happens. First the mangled torch creeps into shot, then the crown of lady Liberty herself. Taylor realises that he’s not on another planet but on postapocalyptic Earth! “You maniacs!” he screams. “You blew it up! Damn you! God damn you all to Hell!” KM

16 The Shawshank Redemption
Frank Darabont, 1994

Having endured decades of wrongful incarceration, beatings, rape and false hope, Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) escapes from his gothic jail. After gleefully detailing Dufresne’s flight, Darabont was unsure whether to show his subsequent reunion with jail buddy Red (Morgan Freeman) on a Mexican beach. He wisely chose the even more uplifting option – as his editor noted: “Tell me that smile on Morgan’s face isn’t going to leave the audience as high as a kite.” ED POTTON

15 Gone With the Wind
Victor Fleming, 1939

Boasting a double-whammy of iconic endings, this Civil War epic closes with the destitute heroine Scarlett O’Hara (Vivien Leigh) being dumped by husband Rhett Butler (Clark Gable) with the immortal lines: “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.” The feisty Scarlett regroups and, within 50 seconds of screen time, faces the camera for that classic tear-stained close-up, announcing: “I’ll think of some way to get him back. After all, tomorrow is another day.” KM

14 Doctor Strangelove
Stanley Kubrick, 1964

This comedic countdown to nuclear apocalypse concludes in appropriately bombastic style, with Peter Sellers’ eponymous, wheelchair-bound strategist suddenly finding the use of his legs and Slim Pickens’s bomb commander riding an ICBM, rodeo style, out of a plane. Kubrick’s masterstroke was following such outrageousness with a michievously serene montage of explosions set to Vera Lynn’s We’ll Meet Again. EP

13 Les Diaboliques
Henri-Georges Clouzot, 1955

Forget the so-so American remake – the black-and-white French original has one of the most shocking denouements in screen history. The illtreated wife and the mistress of a cruel provincial head-master are conspiring to kill him, and appear to have done so. Until his “corpse” rears up out of the bathtub, sending his wife into terminal cardiac arrest. Just as her plotting husband and his mistress had hoped. EP

12 The Wizard of Oz
Victor Fleming, 1939

The prototype twist ending has Dorothy Gale (Judy Garland) waking up back in drab and dreary Kansas and realising that the previous 90 minutes of multicol-oured action adventure were only part of a fever dream. Bummer. Farm hands Hunk (Ray Bolger), Zeke (Bert Lahr) and Hickory (Jack Haley) gather round Dorothy’s sickbed, invoking their counterparts from Oz – Scarecrow, Lion and Tinman respectively. Dorothy decides that, despite the allure of faraway lands, “There’s no place like home”. KM

11 Thelma & Louise
Ridley Scott, 1991

In this outlaw chick-flick Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis are on the lam in a Ford Thunderbird convertible. After a truck-stop altercation turns deadly, the two women flee across the US. Eventually they are cornered by the police, but Sarandon floors the accelerator and sends the car hurtling over a cliff. Part exploitation movie, part cri de coeur for abused women, this film let its girls go down gloriously unrepentant. WI

10 The Sixth Sense
M. Night Shyamalan, 1999

The twist to tend all twists. Try as he did in subsequent movies such as Signs and The Village, Shyamalan has failed to trump his debut film’s climax. Cole, a child psychologist (Bruce Willis), is making good progess with a troubled boy who can “see dead people” (Haley Joel Osment), until it dawns on Cole that he himself is a ghost. The genius of the ending was not just its unexpectedness, but the way it forced a reevalution of the film’s previous events – “So that’s why his wife was ignoring him!” EP

9 The Usual Suspects
Bryan Singer, 1995

Cop Dave Kujan (Chazz Palminteri) thinks he has the case of enigmatic criminal mastermind Keyser Söze sewn up, until it turns out that Verbal Kint (Kevin Spacey) – the informer Kujan has rashly set free – made up most of his story and is probably Söze himself, a double bombshell that Singer drops in a dazzlingly edited final flourish. EP

8 The Italian Job
Peter Collison, 1969

This light-hearted heist movie boasts the ultimate cliff-hanger ending – literally. Michael Caine and his colourful band of crims have just pulled off a daring bullion robbery from a bank in Turin. The getaway by bus goes smoothly until an accident sends the vehicle into a skid, leaving it dangling precariously over the edge of a cliff. Cue great final line: “Hang on lads, I’ve got an idea . . .” WI

7 Some Like It Hot
Billy Wilder, 1959

It’s the perfect ending to the perfect screwball comedy. Italian mobsters have seen through Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis’s female disguises. Along with Marilyn Monroe, they flee on board the yacht of millionaire Osgood Fielding III, who is smitten by Lemmon’s female alter ego, Daphne. Lemmon desperately tries to dissuade Osgood, finally ripping off his wig and shouting: “I’m a man.” The smirking Osgood’s reply is one of the great last lines: “Nobody’s perfect.” WI

6 Breakfast At Tiffany’s
Blake Edwards, 1961

In torrential rain, in an insalubrious Manhattan alleyway, Audrey Hepburn’s Holly Golightly desperately searches for Cat, the stray pet she just cruelly dumped from a cab. The missing cat represents her decision not to close herself off from love and mutual dependency. Only when she finds him can she move on with George Peppard’s impoverished writer Paul. There’s not a dry eye in the house – and the sodden cat’s furious expression is hilarious. WI

5 Chinatown
Roman Polanski, 1974

Private eye Jake Gittes (Jack Nicholson) has blundered into a murder case that involves multimillionaire Noah Cross (John Huston) and a scandal about the Los Angeles water supply. Gittes, hired by Cross, discovers that Cross has had an incestuous relationship with his daughter, Evelyn, that has produced a child, Katherine. Cross wants the child. Evelyn wants to keep her away from her wicked father. Gittes has fallen in love with Evelyn, but suspects her of murder.

In the devastating final scene, all the film’s protagonists and plotlines twist together. Evelyn drives away at high speed with her daughter through the streets of Chinatown. The police fire warning shots, one of which kills Evelyn. Cross takes Katherine. He has the child he wanted.

But at what cost? Gittes knows the truth about Cross’s relationship to the child, but is powerless to stop him. A crowd gathers around the fatal scene. Gittes is told to turn away. “Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.” The camera, indifferent, fades out, leaving us as desolate and shocked as Gittes. NK

4 E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial
Steven Spielberg, 1982

After weeping at E.T.’s tragic death, then weeping again at his resurrection, and again as Elliott (Henry Thomas) and Co magically take to the skies, what could possibly be next? Nothing but the mother of all weepies in the final farewell scene. Here the composer John Williams pummels the soul, Spielberg yanks every heartstring, and E.T. touches the blubbering Elliott’s forehead with his flashlight finger, saying: “I’ll be right here.” Then E.T. disappears up inside a giant Fabergé egg. Brilliant. KM

3 Casablanca
Michael Curtiz, 1942

Driven to cynicism and exile in wartime Casablanca by a woman who abandoned him in Occupied Paris, Rick (Humphrey Bogart) is not best pleased when she turns up in town with her freedom-fighting husband. But Bogie can’t stop loving her, nor she him. Now though, with Nazis all around, the fate of the world may depend on her husband’s safe passage out of Casablanca. Rick and Ilsa (Ingrid Bergman) must choose between enriching their own lives by eloping, or enriching the world’s by helping her escape with her husband. On the tarmac, the plane ready to taxi and the Nazis ready to spring, Bogart and the love of his life embrace for what we know will be the last time. Bogie’s ability to suggest the soft centre at the heart of a tough nut has never been matched. NK

2 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
George Roy Hill, 1969

Pale, bullet-ridden, yet still bantering, our improbably handsome bank-robbing heroes Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman) and the Sundance Kid (Robert Redford) are trapped in an adobe barn, surrounded by the entire Bolivian army. They have just enough time for a few gags before it’s time for a suicidal frontal assault on their foes. “For a minute there, I thought we were in trouble,” quips Butch, before leading the charge. The soundtrack then reveals the inter-ballistic mayhem that follows, yet the screen simply freeze-frames on the men, an elegant portrait of courageous insanity. KM

1 Carrie
Brian De Palma, 1976

At the end of this Stephen King adaptation, Carrie (Sissy Spacek), who begins the film doused in the blood of her first period, has ended it drenched in the blood of pigs at a high-school prom. Unfortunately for her classmates, Carrie’s womanhood brought with it telekinetic powers, which she then uses to wipe out most of them – and herself – in a blaze of purifying flame. Sue (Amy Irving), one of the few survivors, visits Carrie’s freshly dug grave. She lays flowers. Carrie’s arm thrusts out of the soil and grabs her. A million stomachs leap. Sue wakes up. It was just a nightmare, but one that will never end. NK