




Thanks to donaldsoffritti.blogspot.com/search?q=decadence

1st Hillbilly says: “My wife sure is stupid!…She bought an air conditioner. ”
2nd Hillbilly says: “Why is that stupid?”
1st Hillbilly says: “We ain’t got no ‘lectricity!”
2nd Hillbilly says: “That’s nothin’! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of them new fangled warshin ‘ machines!”
1st Hillbilly says: “Why is that so stupid?”
2nd Hillbilly says: “‘Cause we ain’t got no plummin’!”
3rd Hillbilly says: “That ain’t nuthin’! My wife is dumber than both yer
wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin’ fer
some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.”
1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: “Well, what’s so dumb about that?”
3rd Hillbilly says: “She ain’t got no dick”
SARAH Ferguson yesterday defended her eldest daughter insisting Princess Beatrice has developed an absolutely corking set of knockers.

accused the Princess of not being old enough to have breasts, while at the same time being too old not to have them.
The Duchess said: "She is a perfectly normal young woman who just happens to have HRH in front of her name and a cracking pair of charlies. She'll be just fine.
"Like all teenagers she has a tendency to slouch, but when she stands up straight, my goodness what a pair of beauties. They're like melons I tell you, melons!"
Constitutional expert Denys Finch-Hatton said: "Although she was often dismissed as unsuitable, Prince Andrew made a strategic decision in mating with Sarah Ferguson.
"For all her shortcomings the Duchess has provided the House of Windsor with the genetic material to produce generation upon generation of superbly endowed princesses."


DIY offers a great way to take on personal projects and make things your own. Although often DIY focuses primarily on home improvement, the DIY ethic expands out to arts, technology, and so much more. Check out these categories and more in our list of DIY sites that’s sure to get you inspired to get up and make something yourself.
Home Improvement
In these sites, you’ll find fun and useful projects to take on at home.
Arts & Crafts
Whether you want to learn how to make your own macro lens, or just find a knitting pattern, these sites will have what you’re looking for.
Tech
Find everything you want to know about hacking gadgets, electronics, and more from these sites.
Lifehacking
These sites present great ways to apply the DIY principle to everyday life.
General
Check out these sites to find anything and everything DIY.
It's this man's 33rd birthday. He gets a package at the Post Office and goes to collect it. At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and the man says, "It's my birthday today." "Oh, happy birthday, how old are you?" asks the Post Office worker. "33," says the man. "Well, have a good day," says the worker. "Thank you," replied the man. To get home, the man has to take the bus. At the bus stop an old lady walks up and waits soon after he arrives. The man says to the old lady, "It's my birthday today." "Oh, happy birthday," says the old lady. "I'm..." "No don't tell me," interjects the old lady, "I know a unique way of telling how old somebody is." "Oh yeah? What's that then," asks the man. "If I can feel your balls for about 5 minutes, I can tell exactly how many years old you are," says the old lady. "I don't believe it." "Well let me prove it!" "I'm not going to let you feel my balls!" says the man. "Oh well, I guess you'll never know then," replies the lady. After a couple of minutes curiosity gets the better of the man and he says, "Oh, okay then, you can do it." After a good feel of the man's balls the woman finally takes her hands out of his pants. "You are 33 years old exactly," she exclaims! "How the fuck did you know that?" exclaims the man, impressed. "I was behind you in the line at the Post Office," said the lady.
Paddy goes into a store and the assistant convinces him to buy a thermos flask. This flask he says is brilliant it will keep hot things hot and cold things cold. Brilliant I'll take it says Paddy.
Next day in work his workmates ask him what he’s got, Its a Thermos says Paddy it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. Wow sounds great say his workmates what have you got in it?
Two cups of tea, and an ice cream.
These two guys are stranded on a deserted island. After many months of nothing, one guy says to the other, "How about we try the anal sex thing? What do you think?" After much thought, the second guy said "OK". So the first guy says, "You bend over, and let me know what you think. If you like it, sing a song; and if you don't like it, make an animal sound."
So then the second guy says, "Moooooo... Mooooooo...
This guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny...keep me potent."
The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with an "X" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go NUTS for 12 hours!" the guy says, "Gimme 3 boxes." The next day, the same guy walks into the same pharmacy, right up to the same pharmacist and pulls down his pants.
The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.
The man says, "Gimme a bottle of Tiger Balm
The pharmacist replies, "TIGER BALM?!?!?! You're not going to put Tiger Balm on that are you?"
The guy says, "No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."
This guy is flying down the road, and he comes over a bridge. Sure enough, a cop with a radar gun is sitting on the other side of the bridge and pulls him over.
The cop walks up to the guy's car and asks, "What's the hurry?"
The guy says, "I'm late for work."
What do you do?"
The guy responds, "Well, I'm a rectum stretcher."
The cop says, "What? A rectum stretcher?"
The guy says, "Yeah. I start with a finger, then work my way up to two fingers...eventually I get a hand in, then both hands, and I slowly stretch it until it's about six feet wide."
The cop asks, "What do you do with a six-foot asshole?"
"Well, you give him a radar gun and park him at the end of a bridge....."
Two weeks ago, The Observer revealed how 17-year-old student Rand Abdel-Qader was beaten to death by her father after becoming infatuated with a British soldier in Basra. In this remarkable interview, Abdel-Qader Ali explains why he is unrepentant - and how police backed his actions. Afif Sarhan in Basra and Caroline Davies report
For Abdel-Qader Ali there is only one regret: that he did not kill his daughter at birth. 'If I had realised then what she would become, I would have killed her the instant her mother delivered her,' he said with no trace of remorse.
Two weeks after The Observer revealed the shocking story of Rand Abdel-Qader, 17, murdered because of her infatuation with a British soldier in Basra, southern Iraq, her father is defiant. Sitting in the front garden of his well-kept home in the city's Al-Fursi district, he remains a free man, despite having stamped on, suffocated and then stabbed his student daughter to death.
Abdel-Qader, 46, a government employee, was initially arrested but released after two hours. Astonishingly, he said, police congratulated him on what he had done. 'They are men and know what honour is,' he said.
Rand, who was studying English at Basra University, was deemed to have brought shame on her family after becoming infatuated with a British soldier, 22, known only as Paul.
She died a virgin, according to her closest friend Zeinab. Indeed, her 'relationship' with Paul, which began when she worked as a volunteer helping displaced families and he was distributing water, appears to have consisted of snatched conversations over less than four months. But the young, impressionable Rand fell in love with him, confiding her feelings and daydreams to Zeinab, 19.
It was her first youthful infatuation and it would be her last. She died on 16 March after her father discovered she had been seen in public talking to Paul, considered to be the enemy, the invader and a Christian. Though her horrified mother, Leila Hussein, called Rand's two brothers, Hassan, 23, and Haydar, 21, to restrain Abdel-Qader as he choked her with his foot on her throat, they joined in. Her shrouded corpse was then tossed into a makeshift grave without ceremony as her uncles spat on it in disgust.
'Death was the least she deserved,' said Abdel-Qader. 'I don't regret it. I had the support of all my friends who are fathers, like me, and know what she did was unacceptable to any Muslim that honours his religion,' he said.
Sitting on a chair by his front door and surrounded by the gerberas and white daisies he had planted in the family garden, Abel-Qader attempted to justify his actions.
'I don't have a daughter now, and I prefer to say that I never had one. That girl humiliated me in front of my family and friends. Speaking with a foreign solider, she lost what is the most precious thing for any woman. 'People from western countries might be shocked, but our girls are not like their daughters that can sleep with any man they want and sometimes even get pregnant without marrying. Our girls should respect their religion, their family and their bodies.
'I have only two boys from now on. That girl was a mistake in my life. I know God is blessing me for what I did,' he said, his voice swelling with pride. 'My sons are by my side, and they were men enough to help me finish the life of someone who just brought shame to ours.'
Abdel-Qader, a Shia, says he was released from the police station 'because everyone knows that honour killings sometimes are impossible not to commit'. Chillingly, he said: 'The officers were by my side during all the time I was there, congratulating me on what I had done.' It's a statement that, if true, provides an insight into how vast the gulf remains between cultures in Iraq and between the Basra police the British army that trains them.
Sources have indicated that Abdel-Qader, who works in the health department, has been asked to leave because of the bad publicity, yet he will continue to draw a salary.
And it has been alleged by one senior unnamed official in the Basra governorate that he has received financial support by a local politician to enable him to 'disappear' to Jordan for a few weeks, 'until the story has been forgotten' - the usual practice in the 30-plus cases of 'honour' killings that have been registered since January alone.
Such treatment seems common in Basra, where militias have partial control, especially in the districts on the outskirts where Abdel-Qader lives.
While government security forces and British troops have control over the centre, around the fringes militants can still be seen everywhere on the streets or at the checkpoints they have erected. And they have imposed strict laws of behaviour for all the local people, including what clothing should be worn and what religious practices should be observed. There are reports of men having their hands cut off for looting and women being killed for prostitution.
Homosexuality is punishable by death, a sentence Abdel-Qader approves of with a passion. 'I have alerted my two sons. They will have the same end [as Rand] if they become contaminated with any gay relationship. These crimes deserve death - death in the name of God,' he said.
He said his daughter's 'bad genes were passed on from her mother'. Rand's mother, 41, remains in hiding after divorcing her husband in the immediate aftermath of the killing, living in fear of retribution from his family. She also still bears the scars of the severe beating he inflicted on her, breaking her arm in the process, when she told him she was going. 'They cannot accept me leaving him. When I first left I went to a cousin's home, but every day they were delivering notes to my door saying I was a prostitute and deserved the same death as Rand,' she said.
'She was killed by animals. Every night when go to bed I remember the face of Rand calling for help while her father and brothers ended her life,' she said, tears streaming down her face.
She was nervous, clearly terrified of being found, and her eyes constantly turned towards the window as she spoke. 'Rand told me about the soldier, but she swore it was just a friendship.
'She said she spoke with him because she was the only English speaker. I raised her in a religious manner and she never went out alone until she joined the university and then later when she was doing aid work.
'Even now, I cannot believe my ex-husband was able to kill our daughter. He wasn't a bad person. During our 24 years of marriage, he was never aggressive. But on that day, he was a different person.'
The mother is now trying to raise enough money to escape abroad. 'I miss my two boys,' she said. 'But they have sent a message saying that I am wrong for defending Rand and that I should go back home and live like a blessed Muslim woman,' said Leila, who is now volunteering with a local organisation campaigning for better protection for women in Basra.
One of those running the organisation, who did not want to be identified, said that Rand's case was similar to so many reported in Basra, with the only difference being she was in love with a foreigner, rather than an Iraqi.
'There isn't too much to say. Rand is dead. It is a tragedy and will be a tragedy for many other families in Iraq in the days to come.
'According to information we have been given, some from Rand's colleague, we have doubts that her love was reciprocated. We have the impression that Rand was in love, but the English soldier wasn't. But, for a girl to be paid nice compliments about her beauty and her intelligence, it was enough for her to think she was in love.
'She isn't here any more for her mother to ask any of the questions she would like to. Rand's case had repercussions because she fell in love with a foreigner. But what about the other girls murdered through "honour" killings because they fell in love with some of a different sect, or lost their virginity, or were forced to become prostitutes?'
Rand's mother used to call her 'Rose'. 'That was my nickname for her because when she was born she was so beautiful,' she said.
'Now, my lovely Rose is in her grave. But, God will make her father pay, either in this world ... or in the world after.'

The image of the 21st century woman is confident, prosperous, glowing with health and beauty.
But for many of the 3.3 billion female occupants of our planet, the perks of the cyber age never arrived. As International Women's Day is celebrated today, they continue to feel the age-old lash of violence, repression, isolation, enforced ignorance and discrimination.
"These things are universal," says Taina Bien-Aime, executive director of New York-based Equality Now. "There is not one single country where women can feel absolutely safe."
In spite of real progress in women's rights around the globe – better laws, political participation, education and income – the bedrock problems that have dogged women for centuries remain. Even in wealthy countries, there are pockets of private pain where women are unprotected and under attack.
Some countries, often the poorest and most conflict-ridden, have a level of violence that makes life unbearable for women. Richer ones may burden them with repressive laws, or sweep the problems of the least advantaged under the carpet. In any country, refugee women are among the most vulnerable.
So widespread are the disadvantages that it's hard to pinpoint the worst places in the world for women. Some surveys rate their problems by quality of life, others by health indicators. Human rights groups point to countries where violations are so severe that even murder is routine.
Literacy is one of the best indicators of women's status in their countries. But Amnesty International Canada's women's rights campaigner Cheryl Hotchkiss says building schools alone doesn't solve the problem of equal education.
"There's a huge range of barriers women face to getting an education," she says. "It may be free and available, but parents won't send their daughters out to school if they can be kidnapped and raped."
Health is another key indicator, including the care of pregnant women, who are sometimes forced into disastrous early marriage and childbearing, as well as infection with HIV/AIDS. But again, statistics fail to show the whole, complex story.
"On a rural lake in Zambia, I met a woman who had not told her husband she was HIV-positive," says David Morley, CEO of Save the Children Canada. "She was already living on the edge because she had no children. If she told him, she would be kicked off the island and sent alone to the mainland. She felt she had no choice, because she had no power at all."
Putting power in women's hands is the biggest challenge for improving their lives in every country, advocates agree. Whether in the poorest countries of Africa, or the most repressive of the Middle East or Asia, lack of control over their own destinies blights women's lives from early childhood.
Here are 10 of the worst countries in the world to be a woman today:
• Afghanistan: The average Afghan girl will live to only 45 – one year less than an Afghan male. After three decades of war and religion-based repression, an overwhelming number of women are illiterate. More than half of all brides are under 16, and one woman dies in childbirth every half hour. Domestic violence is so common that 87 per cent of women admit to experiencing it. But more than one million widows are on the streets, often forced into prostitution. Afghanistan is the only country in which the female suicide rate is higher than that of males.
• Democratic Republic of Congo: In the eastern DRC, a war that claimed more than 3 million lives has ignited again, with women on the front line. Rapes are so brutal and systematic that UN investigators have called them unprecedented. Many victims die; others are infected with HIV and left to look after children alone. Foraging for food and water exposes women to yet more violence. Without money, transport or connections, they have no way of escape.
• Iraq: The U.S.-led invasion to "liberate" Iraq from Saddam Hussein has imprisoned women in an inferno of sectarian violence that targets women and girls. The literacy rate, once the highest in the Arab world, is now among the lowest as families fear risking kidnapping and rape by sending girls to school. Women who once went out to work stay home. Meanwhile, more than 1 million women have been displaced from their homes, and millions more are unable to earn enough to eat.
• Nepal: Early marriage and childbirth exhaust the country's malnourished women, and one in 24 will die in pregnancy or childbirth. Daughters who aren't married off may be sold to traffickers before they reach their teens. Widows face extreme abuse and discrimination if they're labelled bokshi, meaning witches. A low-level civil war between government and Maoist rebels has forced rural women into guerrilla groups.
• Sudan: While Sudanese women have made strides under reformed laws, the plight of those in Darfur, in western Sudan, has worsened. Abduction, rape or forced displacement have destroyed more than 1 million women's lives since 2003. The janjaweed militias have used systematic rape as a demographic weapon, but access to justice is almost impossible for the female victims of violence.
• Other countries in which women's lives are significantly worse than men's include Guatemala, where an impoverished female underclass faces domestic violence, rape and the second-highest rate of HIV/AIDS after sub-Saharan Africa. An epidemic of gruesome unsolved murders has left hundreds of women dead, some of their bodies left with hate messages.
In Mali, one of the world's poorest countries, few women escape the torture of genital mutilation, many are forced into early marriages, and one in 10 dies in pregnancy or childbirth.
In the tribal border areas of Pakistan, women are gang-raped as punishment for men's crimes. But honour killing is more widespread, and a renewed wave of religious extremism is targeting female politicians, human rights workers and lawyers.
In oil-rich Saudi Arabia, women are treated as lifelong dependents, under the guardianship of a male relative. Deprived of the right to drive a car or mix with men publicly, they are confined to strictly segregated lives on pain of severe punishment.
In the Somali capital, Mogadishu, a vicious civil war has put women, who were the traditional mainstay of the family, under attack. In a society that has broken down, women are exposed daily to rape, dangerously poor health care for pregnancy, and attack by armed gangs.
"While the potential of women is recognized at the international level," says World Health Organization director-general Margaret Chan, "this potential will not be realized until conditions improve – often dramatically – in countries and communities. Too many complex factors, often rooted in social and cultural norms, continue to hinder the ability of women and girls to achieve their potential and benefit from social advances."
Measures of well-being include life expectancy, education, purchasing power and standard of living. Not surprisingly, the top 10 countries are among the world's wealthiest.
SOURCE: UNDP Gender-related development index
INCOME GAPS
Poverty means pain for both men and women, but throughout the world it's women who suffer the most from lack of income. In these countries, women earn less than 50 per cent of men's incomes:
Benin 48 per cent
Bangladesh 46 per cent
Sierra Leone 45 per cent
Equatorial Guinea 43 per cent
Togo 43 per cent
Eritrea 39 per cent
Cape Verde 36 per cent
Yemen 30 per cent
SOURCE: UNDP Human Development Report
LITERACY GAPS
The better a woman's education, the better chance she and her children have of surviving economically, protecting themselves and leading healthy lives. In these countries, women's literacy rate is less than 50 per cent of men's:
Mali 49 per cent
Benin 49 per cent
Yemen 47 per cent
Mozambique 46 per cent
Ethiopia 46 per cent
Guinea 42 per cent
Niger 35 per cent
Chad 31 per cent
Afghanistan 28 per cent
Countries with women's literacy rate less than 70 per cent of men's:
India 65 per cent
Morocco 60 per cent
Pakistan 55 per cent
SOURCES: UNDP, UNESCO, UNICEF

These days, he is in danger of disappearing inside them.
The 32-year-old Irish actor appeared worryingly gaunt while out in Spain on the weekend.
His hollow cheeks and sunken chest were in stark contrast to the form he built up to play Alexander the Great in 2004.
The actor bore an uncanny resemblance to fellow Irish celebrity, snooker player Alex "Hurricane" Higgins
Farrell's weight loss may stem from the demands of the film which he is shooting in Alicante.
He stars in Triage with Spanish actress Paz Vega and British film veteran Christopher Lee.
In the film, co-produced by the Irish Film Board, he portrays a war photographer who loses his best friend during a harrowing consignment in war-torn Bosnia during the early 1990s.
Or perhaps his new look is the result of an extreme detox after giving up his formerly hellraising lifestyle.
While living in Los Angeles the actor became addicted to hard drugs and alcohol and starred in a string of flop movies.
He also fathered a son called James, now four.
After a spell in rehab, Farrell decided to have a career break and move back to Dublin to spend more time with his son, who has a rare genetic disorder called Angelman syndrome.
He recently revealed how fatherhood had changed him immensely - and said he had mended his ways.
In the interview in February he said: "I think it only changes you if you want it to change you, it didn't change me for about two years until I curbed a certain way I was living."
