SUPPORT THE SONS OF SHANKLY

This Saturday sees Liverpool take on Barnsley in the fifth round of the FA Cup, but prior to the match the newly formed Liverpool Supporters Union - “Sons of Shankly” (SOS) - are holding a meeting which all fans are invited to attend.

The meeting will take place at The Olympia (see below for full details) from 12 noon, the reasons for S.O.S. and the reasons for their plans are outlined below in their press release, please read it, print it out and spread the word to anybody going to the match.

S.O.S. are calling for all fans to protest for 15 minutes after the match and also to boycott all LFC merchandise. We at This Is Anfield especially support the idea of the post-match protest, along with the idea of not purchasing a matchday programme or food and drink inside the ground.

Instead of getting a programme, pick up a fanzine from outside the ground and in return give something back to fellow fans.

Don’t buy a pie, beer or anything else inside the ground - it’s hugely over-priced, poor quality and you can easily go without. Don’t line the pockets of Hicks and Gillett (read below why).

Enjoy the match, support the team 100% during the match, let our feelings be known after the match and by keeping your money in your pocket.

Sons of Shankly website has now been launched, click here to visit

Press Release from “Sons of Shankly”, Liverpool Supporters Union:

You may or may not have heard of us. But here’s a little bit about who we are.

To do exactly as it says on the tin. A Union for all Liverpool Supporters. A voice that represents us all. A platform for us all to stand together and fight for what we believe in.

It is early days, and more details of how the organisation will grow will appear over the next few weeks and months. But the catalyst for our formation…..

We want Tom Hicks and George Gillett out of our club - why?

THEY LIED & HAVE JEOPARDISED OUR CLUB FOR THEIR PERSONAL GAIN

They promised that all loans would be would be secured against their own personal assets.

THEY LIED

•They have taken out a loan of £350m. £105m has been secured against the club and £245m against Kop Holdings – which owns 100% of Liverpool Football Club and has only one source of revenue: The Club.

•So, regardless of the smoke and mirrors, Liverpool Football Club has to pay all of the interest on all of the £350m.

•The interest payments alone for this debt will be around £30m each year. All of which will be payable by Liverpool FC – more than enough to wipe out the club’s operating profit.

•Gillett and Hicks have only taken out this new loan over an 18 month contract. This is very unusual for a deal of this size; three years is the usual minimum term. Wall Street analysts believe that this is because they had difficulty in getting the banks to lend them the money. Which raises questions about:

THE STADIUM

• £60m of that loan has been earmarked for starting construction of the new ground.

•There is no funding yet in place to complete the stadium, nor has planning permission been granted for a 71,000 capacity. Existing consent is for 60,000, with any increase depending upon improvements to transport and car parking. With no underground car park, the new plans have less car parking than the original 60,000 design!

•If they can’t borrow again in 18 months then they cannot complete the stadium. How can they pledge now that the stadium will be built? In the same way they pledged it would be well on its way to completion twelve months ago – by misleading us.

•So do they actually intend to complete the building of the new stadium?

•Should Hicks & Gillett get the loan to actually build the new ground, the additional interest payments will be £25m per year.

•This will leave Liverpool Football Club to shoulder annual payments of £55m in interest alone. Which begs the question:

WHERE WILL THE FUNDS COME FROM FOR TRANSFERS?

• When they took over, Hicks & Gillett promised to back the manager in the transfer market.

•From the two transfer windows Hicks and Gillett have owned the club for, Benitez has spent £48.5m on players, and recouped £33.5m in player sales. A net spend of £15m. This is the up-to-date figure that includes the purchase of Skrtel and the sale of Sissoko.

•The club brought in around £30m from the run to the Champions League Final last season alone. On top of this there is the increased TV money the club’s has received.

•Where is the money Gillett and Hicks have backed the manager with? They’ve lied to us, they’ve manipulated the press, and some people have believed the spin. We won’t.

•In reality, after all the talk about money and Snoogy Doogy, the manager has spent £15m in the last two transfer windows. How is that backing him in the transfer market?

It is about time the real picture was painted for all Liverpool fans out there.
They promised to respect the club’s heritage, history and traditions.

THEY HAVE LIED AND LIED.

They asked to be judged on what their actions. Well they have failed to make a start or produce the funding on the stadium, the major reason why David Moores looked for investment, they have failed to back the manager in the transfer market, They have not put one single cent of their own money into this club and they have undermined the traditions of the football club and the office of manager.

They have, however, managed to create huge debt for LFC to pay off without any end product.

How, exactly, is the football club in a better position now than it was twelve months ago under David Moores?

After the Sunderland game, we staged a 15 minutes stay behind protest at the end of the game. We intend to do the same again.

During the protest, Steve McManaman commented on Setanta that the Americans had backed the manager in the transfer market, secured their new loan bringing money into the club, and we should all forget about it and move on. We don’t blame McManaman, a fair number of good Reds have been won over by their spin, so why shouldn’t a blue?

So it’s time to spread the message and get the real goings on from within Anfield to a wider audience. It’s about time the truth was exposed. Hicks and Gillett have to be forced out of Anfield before they wreak more havoc.

New Australian Citizenship Test

Australia has become a very multi-cultured society with immigrants, arriving from every corner of the planet
It is only fair that this new citzenship questionairre has been devised to help them understand the Aussie Language, Customs, Food and Culture

New Australian Citizenship Test

LANGUAGE

1. Do you understand the meaning, or are able to explain the origin of, the term "died in the arse"?
2. What is a mole?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage: "In the arvo last Chrissy the relos rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo."

CUSTOMS

1. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana. If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey, Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
2. Complete the following sentences: a) "If the van's rockin' don't bother ... b) You're going home in the back of a .... c) Fair suck of the .
3. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
4. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
5. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard "up on blocks"? Is his name Keith and does he have a wife called Cheryl?

FOOD

1. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat, cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
2. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
3. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
4. Do you have an Aunty Myrna who is famous for her tuna mornay and other dishes involving a can of cream of celery soup?
5. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that has been nicked from a bath full of ice?
6. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
7. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter "b" is required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?

CULTURE

1. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs, an Esky or Ugg boots?
2. Is it possible to "prang a car" while doing "circle work"?
3. Who would you like to crack on to?
4. Who is the most Australian: Kevin "Bloody" Wilson, John "True Blue" Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
5. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a trailer or have a pool?
6. Would you love to have a beer with Duncan?

WHY SOME MEN DIE EARLY

JOKES FROM SHAZZA

ELDERLY SEX

One night, an 87 year-old woman came home from Bingo and found
her 92 year-old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony
of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly.

Brought before the court on the charge of murder,
the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, "Yes, your honor. I figured that at 92, if he could have sex...
he could also fly."

WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX

My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said,
"This will make you happy tonight."

He was right. When he went out of the bedroom,
I squirted it all over the doorknobs.
He couldn't get back in.

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their
40th wedding anniversary. The husband yelled, "When you die, I'm getting
you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."

"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.' "

CONFOUNDED SEX

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled

and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine

could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover

the surgery since it was considered cosmetic.
The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small,
$6,500 for "medium, and $14,000 for "large."

The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged

him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.

"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.

"She'd rather remodel the kitchen."

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX

Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"
"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."
"Social Security sex?"
"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"

QUIET SEX

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
during a recent lovemaking session,
"How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"

She glanced at him and replied, "You're never home!"

LOUD SEX

A wife went in to see a therapist and said,
"I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
he lets out this ear splitting yell."

"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural.
I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"

IT'S VALENTINES DAY BUT....

Here are some cards you probably wouldn't like to receive.

YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THE PUNCHLINE

GREAT RELIGION ISLAM...

Saudi police 'stopped' fire rescue

The Mecca city governor visited the fire-damaged school

Saudi Arabia's religious police stopped schoolgirls from leaving a blazing building because they were not wearing correct Islamic dress, according to Saudi newspapers.

In a rare criticism of the kingdom's powerful "mutaween" police, the Saudi media has accused them of hindering attempts to save 15 girls who died in the fire on Monday.

About 800 pupils were inside the school in the holy city of Mecca when the tragedy occurred.

According to the al-Eqtisadiah daily, firemen confronted police after they tried to keep the girls inside because they were not wearing the headscarves and abayas (black robes) required by the kingdom's strict interpretation of Islam.

One witness said he saw three policemen "beating young girls to prevent them from leaving the school because they were not wearing the abaya".

The Saudi Gazette quoted witnesses as saying that the police - known as the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice - had stopped men who tried to help the girls and warned "it is a sinful to approach them".

The father of one of the dead girls said that the school watchman even refused to open the gates to let the girls out.

"Lives could have been saved had they not been stopped by members of the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice," the newspaper concluded.

Relatives' anger

Families of the victims have been incensed over the deaths.

Most of the victims were crushed in a stampede as they tried to flee the blaze.

The school was locked at the time of the fire - a usual practice to ensure full segregation of the sexes.

The religious police are widely feared in Saudi Arabia. They roam the streets enforcing dress codes and sex segregation, and ensuring prayers are performed on time.

Those who refuse to obey their orders are often beaten and sometimes put in jail.

PETER KAY AND MATT LUCAS

I'VE BEEN EVERYWHERE ..... BRILLIANT

DANDENONG MATHS EXAM

DANDENONG SECONDARY COLLEGE - CITY OF GREATER DANDENONG MATHEMATICS EXAM

NAME
GANG
Youse Time allowed is 1 hour

1. If Mohamed lowers his WRX 2 inches front and back and puts on stolen 18-inch Auscar slotted wheels, how many inches has he originally lost from the stock suspension?


2. If Con needs 3 razors a day to stay clean shaved, how many razors will he need before he goes to the gym at 8.00pm?


3. If Mustaffa runs 10 km from the Police in Noble Park to Springvale South then steals a car and drives another 5 km to Keysborough , how many kilometres has he travelled if he ends up hiding in Parkmore Shopping Centre?


4. Phan has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an "8 ball" to Hamil for $320.00 and 2 grams to Dak Hoang for $85.00 per gram, what is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?


5. If Darren receives $200.00 per week disability allowance from Centrelink and works for his brother as a builder and receives a further $400.00 per week and then pays $10.00 per week for each of his 11 children for school, how much money does he have left to buy a smashed Tarago from the Keysborough Wreckers?


6. If Soula needs 25 mls of wax per day to get rid of her facial hair and Soula is only 19 years old, how many mls will her mother need if she is 47?


7. Mohamed has an AK-47 with 2 x 30 round clips. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attend before he has to reload?


8. If Abdo runs a Donor Kebab shop in Dandy Plaza and works as a Taxi driver on weekends and earns $1,200.00 per week, how much does Centrelink give him for his job search allowance?



9. If Dandenong's ethnic community is increasing at a rate of 3.5% per month, the overall population increasing at 2.1 % per month, at what rate are the Aussies leaving?


10. Quang is pimping for three girls. If the price is $75.00 for the trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so that Quang can pay for his $200 per day crack habit?


11. If Luigi drives his family and cousins all in one car from Dandenong North to Hampton Park, how many round trips will he need to make if 40 of his relatives need a lift and he can put 12 people in his Valiant at any
one given time?


12. If Mario's dad has his top 3 buttons of his shirt open and reveals 1 x golden cross and 2 other golden ornaments, and has approximately 17 sq cm of hair coming from his chest with an average length of 2 cm, what is the probability that the ornaments will be visible from:
a) 2 feet away .....%
b) 5 feet away .....%
c) 100 feet away .....%


END OF EXAM

WELCOME TO AUSTRALIA

A Somalian arrives in Sydney as a new immigrant to Australia

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,

"Thank you Mr. Australian for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!"

The passerby says, "You are mistaken, I am a New Zealander."

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. "Thank you for having such beautiful country here in Australia !"

The person says, "I not Australian, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, "Thank you for the wonderful Australia!"

That person puts up his hand and says, "I am from Middle East , I am not Australian!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, "Are you an Australian?"

She says, "No, I am from South America !"

Puzzled, he asks her, "Where are all the Australians?"

The African lady checks her watch and says...."Probably at work."

LAMB ON AUSTRALIA DAY

YORKSHIRE AIRLINES

COMPUTER GIF'S

PRAWN JOKE

Two prawns are best friends and swimming around in the sea.
One is called Justin, the other one is called Christian.

It's pretty boring being a prawn, so they were swimming around, disscussing what it would be like to be a shark. "I'd love to be a shark." said Christian. "Yeah, me to." said Justin. "It'd be a lot of fun."

"Anyway, I've got to go " said Christian. "See you".
So Justin is swimming home, still wondering what it would be like to be a shark, when he comes across a cod. "So you want to be a shark?" Said the cod. "Yeah" said Justin "Howd you know that?" "I am a magic cod and if you wish it, I can make you a shark."

Justin though about it, and decided to go ahead with it.

The next day Justin wakes up and discovers he is a shark. He decides to go tell all of his friends but when he gets to all of them, they run away. "No No!! Go away!!!" The they all said, even Christian.

So Justin is now swimming around, depressed that he hasn't got any friends when he comes across cod again.

"Change me back" he said in desperation. "Alright" says the cod.

So the next day Justin wakes up and finds he is a prawn again. He is so exited he goes to tell his friends.

"No! Go away Justin, you'll eat me!" says Christian

"No, you don't understand!" says Justin

"I've changed, I found cod, I'm a prawn again Christian!"

MOODS OF MEN AND WOMEN

Stretchy Skin Man

THE ULTIMATE DRUNK PEOPLE COMPILATION VIDEO EVER!!!

GOD HAS SPOKEN

Responding to recent events on Earth, God, the omniscient creator-deity worshipped by billions of followers of various faiths for more than 6,000 years, angrily clarified His longtime stance against humans killing each other,

"Look, I don't know, maybe I haven't made myself completely clear, so for the record, here it is again," said the Lord, His divine face betraying visible emotion during a press conference near the site of the fallen Twin Towers. "Somehow, people keep coming up with the idea that I want them to kill their neighbor. Well, I don't. And to be honest, I'm really getting sick and tired of it. Get it straight. Not only do I not want anybody to kill anyone, but I specifically commanded you not to, in really simple terms that anybody ought to be able to understand."

Worshipped by Christians, Jews, and Muslims alike, God said His name has been invoked countless times over the centuries as a reason to kill in what He called "an unending cycle of violence."

"I don't care how holy somebody claims to be," God said. "If a person tells you it's My will that they kill someone, they're wrong. Got it? I don't care what religion you are, or who you think your enemy is, here it is one more time: No killing, in My name or anyone else's, ever again."

"I tried to put it in the simplest possible terms for you people, so you'd get it straight, because I thought it was pretty important," said God, called Yahweh and Allah respectively in the Judaic and Muslim traditions. "I guess I figured I'd left no real room for confusion after putting it in a four-word sentence with one-syllable words, on the tablets I gave to Moses. How much more clear can I get?"

"But somehow, it all gets twisted around and, next thing you know, somebody's spouting off some nonsense about, 'God says I have to kill this guy, God wants me to kill that guy, it's God's will,'" God continued. "It's not God's will, all right? News flash: 'God's will' equals 'Don't murder people.'"

God

HOLD IT IN BOY...

MEET THE FAMILY

MODERN WORDS

Beer Coat:
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.

Beer Compass: The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you've come from.

BOBFOC:
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.

Bone of Contention:
A hard-on that causes an argument. e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.

Aussie Kiss:
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

Breaking the Seal:
Your 1st piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

Cider Visor:
Beer Goggles for the young drinker.

Cliterature:
1-handed reading material.

Cock-A-Doodle-Poo:
The bowel movement that, needing to come out urgently, wakes you up in the morning to get to the toilet quick.

Crappuccino:
The particularly frothy type of diarrhoea that you get when abroad.

Double Bass:
A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other.

The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.

Etch-A-Sketch:
Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.

Fizzy Gravy:
or Rusty Water. Diarrhoea.

Flogging On:
Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.

Frigmarole:
Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.

FuckShitFuckShitFuckShit:
The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.

Going For a McShit:
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With Lies.

Greyhound:
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

Hand-to-Gland Combat:
A vigorous masturbation session.

Hefty Cleft:
or Horse's Collar, or Welly Top. Description of a very large vagina.

McSplurry:
The type of bowel movement you experience after dining for a week in fast food restaurants.

Millennium Domes:
The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fuck-all in there worth seeing.

Monkey Bath:
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa!Aa! Aa!".

Mystery Bus:
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

Mystery Taxi:
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.

NBR:
No Beers Required. Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-Pinter.

Picasso Arse:
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
got 4 buttocks.

Sperm Wail:
A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.

Starfish Trooper:
or Arsetronaut. A homosexual.

10-Pinter:
Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.

2-Bagger:
Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with. (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off.)

Titanic:
A lady who goes down first time out.

Todger Dodger:
A lesbian.

Wank Seance:
During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being watched with disgust by your dead relatives.

X-Piles:
Unwanted visitors from Uranus.

GIRLS NIGHT OUT

Daughter: My friends and I want to go out tonight.

Mother: Where are ya'll going ?

Daughter: To the cowboy bar on the edge of town.

Mother: I'm don't think you should. There's been a lot of trouble at that place. I heard there was a fight there last weekend, and several people got hurt.

Daughter: But mom!! Please!! It'll be okay.

Mother: No, your life is more important than going out.

Daughter: But Tiny is going with us...

Mother: Well, in that case, it should be okay.. Ya'll have fun!

.

.

.

.

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HOW THE FUTURE LOOKED IN 1979

click picture to enlarge

This page (found at Cynical-C) is from the 1979 book Future Cities: Homes and Living into the 21st Century. It described “the electronic household.” Click the picture to see it full-size. It said in the 21st century, we would enjoy huge flat-screen TVs, discs for recording and playing back TV shows, videocameras (with rerecordable tape instead of film!), electronic mail, videophones, and robots to serve drinks. Four of the six predictions are now common in the living rooms (and bedrooms) of people who can afford them.

The robot who serves our drinks is still a novelty in development. Someone somewhere figured out it was much simpler just to store cold drinks in the living room, or in my case, put a coffeemaker in the bedroom. Besides, a child or a spouse is less likely to trip over the carpet while delivering your Red Bull.

The videophone is available, but never caught on for good reasons. When you are in the comfort of your home, you don’t want to put on makeup, or even clothing, just to answer the phone. For those of us who are domestically-challenged, it’s not worth cleaning up the room, either. The guy in the picture probably wouldn’t even answer the phone, considering that awful tracksuit-and-boots combination he’s wearing!

20 UGLIEST CELEBRITIES

Michael Jackson

Did you really expect anyone else? Michael Jackson used to be a successful black singer, but took it upon himself to destroy his face and reputation. He now looks like an albino alien whose nose appears to change on a daily basis. Just goes to show you what can happen if you are too critical of your looks... you can end up an albino alien like Mike.

Marilyn Manson

Seriously ... what the hell happened to this kid? From the ghostly white makeup you can see on his black collar to the funky blue eye and blood red lips ... Marilyn Manson is a freak and there's nothing more to say, he's ugly by choice. And not only is he ugly, but he scares the crap out of us.

Jocelyn Wildenstein

Holy crap! This is what happens when you get obsessed with plastic surgery. A wealthy socialite from Switzerland, Jocelyn is actually a celeb for being so ugly. Her extreme appearance has led to the press giving her the nickname "The Bride of Wildenstein," a reference to The Bride of Frankenstein. Wildenstein has allegedly spent almost US$4,000,000 on cosmetic surgery over the years, all payed by her husband, the billionaire international art dealer Alec Wildenstein.

Michael Berryman

No, it is not make-up. This actor born in LA, suffers from Hypohidrotic Ectodermal Dysplasia (a rare condition leaving him with no sweat glands, hair, fingernails or teeth). He played Pluto in Wes Craven's 1977 horror film The Hills Have Eyes. He has also appeared in numerous science fiction and fantasy movies such as My Science Project (1985), Weird Science (1985), Armed Response (1986) and Evil Spirits (1990). He also appeared in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and The Devil's Rejects. Berryman generally portrays mutant bikers, evil undertakers, monsters and other frightening characters. He has also starred in episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation and The X-Files.

DJ Qualls

Ok, we are going to be really mean again, since he's actually ugly for a another terrible reason. We're actually happy to see he has turned it into a good thing, just like Berryman. Qualls also suffered from a rare condition: Hodgkin's lymphoma, a form of cancer, at age 14. After two years of surgery (including the removal of his spleen), chemotherapy, and radiation treatments, Qualls's cancer went into remission, which lent him his famous thin stature. In 1997, he enrolled at Nashville's Belmont University. At a performance in a local theatre he was discovered by David LaChapelle and became... a model!! Yes, a model, for Prada and Calvin Klein. He then got famous for his role on the movie "Road Trip".

Marty Feldman

And yet another terrible case. Marty Feldman (1934 – 1982) was an English writer, comedian and BAFTA award winning actor, notable for his bulging eyes, which were the result of a thyroid condition known as Graves Disease. He wrote situation comedies such as The Army Game, Bootsie and Snudge for the BBC and later had a series of his own on the BBC called Marty. He also appeared in The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother and Mel Brooks' Silent Movie, as well as directing and starring in The Last Remake of Beau Geste. He guest-starred in the "Arabian Nights" episode of The Muppet Show.

Clint Howard

No weird disease this time, he's just plain ugly. But then, again, it is probably what made him famous. Born in 1959, the actor appeared in Cocoon, Steve Martin's Parenthood, EdTV, Apollo 13, Austin Powers, That Thing You Do among others. In 1998, Howard was awarded the MTV Lifetime Achievement Award. He got married twice, just to show you that looks don't matter.

Shane MacGowan

This Irish musician is best known as the original singer and songwriter with The Pogues, and is considered one of the most important and poetic Irish songwriters of the last thirty years. A great find for our list... he's terribly horrible.

Lyle Lovett

Lyle Lovett has to have some good blackmail on someone. Otherwise, how in the hell did he ever get into acting? And the fact that Julia Roberts married this beast makes us think she's not only nuts, but ugly too. Tell us one thing that you find attractive about this man ... go on. Then we'll laugh at you.

Kelis

Holy hell ... Kelis is not bringin' any boys to the yard looking like that. There have been rumors that she is really a man, and quite frankly we are thinking something's not right with this chick. Every time we see her she has her mouth open and looks like she's ready to eat us. She's scary. Next time we see her, we are looking for the Adam's apple.

Iggy Pop

Rock singer, songwriter, and occasional actor, he is sometimes referred to by the nicknames "the Godfather of Punk". Iggy Pop was the lead singer of The Stooges, a late 1960s/early 1970s garage rock band who were influential in the development of the nascent heavy metal and punk rock genres. The Stooges became infamous for their live performances, during which it was not uncommon for Iggy Pop to leap off the stage (in fact, he was among the first to "stage dive"), smear raw meat (and on one occasion peanut butter) over his chest and/or cut himself with broken bottles. So this is how you get ugly by being nut.

Steven Tyler

Dude looks like a zombie. He's a great singer, a cool guy, the daddy of one of the hottest girls on hollywood, plus all the money and women one could ever dream of... and yet... ugly as hell.

Courtney Love

Drugs don't make people pretty... and this woman is about as ugly and classless as it can get.

Donatella Versace

Oh, how the years go by. Yes, she's talented, famous and rich, but... she's now ugly as hell!

Amy Winehouse

English soul, jazz, and R&B singer and songwriter, she's another drug victim. Now, get this: she has a number of "old school" tattoos of naked women on her body. When asked about them, she was quoted as saying "I like pin-up girls. I'm more of a boy than a girl in that way. I'm not a lesbian, though — not before a sambuca anyway. And the she said she would own a beauty salon once her singing schedule calms down... that's a must.

Ronaldinho

Probably the world's best soccer player at this time, Ronaldinho might be one of the funniest, honest, and nicest celebs around... but he's also one of the ugliest. This brazilian is certainly saving his huge salary for something other than helping his image.

Kelly Osbourne

"Uh, I'm ugly." Yeah, we know Kelly. The British accent is cute and we love that she is all about being an individual, but quite frankly Kelly Osbourne's annoying and a brat. And we're not picking on her weight, because it fluctuates and we don't care. Weight really can't change whether you are ugly or not. And Kelly is on our list!

Tori Spelling

Tori Spelling must be thanking her daddy for helping her get into the acting business 'cause there is no other way she would EVER have made it. Thanks Aaron Spelling for ruining our lives! Sometimes you hope someone will grow on you after awhile, but even now when we see Tori on TV we immediately switch the channel. Yeah, it's that bad. And don't even get us started on her acting.

Rosie O'Donnell

Rosie O'Donnell is a bully, but it's not the bad temper what got her on our list... she's ugly, plain and simple.

Rachel Dratch

Don't get us wrong: we love Rachel. Her SNL sketches are hilarious, she's a great actress. But we are sorry to say she truly earned the last place on our list.


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