FOOTBALL VIRUSES

Football viruses

Be careful - these are following in the wake of the 'I Love You' virus and are potentially damaging:

The Manchester United virus:
Your PC develops a disorder whereby the memory forgets everything before 1993.

The Man United shirt virus:
This one is especially hard to detect as it changes its format every 3
months.

The David Beckham virus:
The lights on your PC are all on but nothing works.

The Roy Keane virus:
Throws you out of Windows.

The Alex Ferguson virus:
Your PC develops a continuous whining noise.

The Van Der Saar virus:
You can't save anything.

The Christian Ronaldo virus:
Makes your computer think it's better than it actually is.

These are less virulent, but still wise to keep an eye on them:

The David James virus:
Your PC will act as though it will save something, but let you down at the last minute.

The Arjen Robben virus:
Computer pretends to go down, but then boots back up and is OK.

The Glenn Hoddle virus:
Disables your PC, blames it all on its previous life as a calculator.

The Everton virus:
Makes you think it will go down but presses escape at the last minute.