Ninja!

Friday, April 04, 2008

MODIFIED PEOPLE

Originally intended as a short post about one of the choices below, it quickly became clear that there are some extraordinary human beings intent on changing their appearance permanently for reasons that will forever baffle most people. whether you agree with it or not, you can’t deny the fact that it’s a fascinating way of life.

each to his own.

(click on photos for bigger)

10. leopard man

whether he’s mad or not, 67yr old tom leppard seems extremely happy living in a hand-built home on the isle of skye, 99% of his body tattooed with leopard print. he spends his days reading, scampering about the place on all fours like a leopard and staying away from the hustle and bustle of modern society. for a man who looks like john locke after an intense mud fight he actually seems pretty pleasant…

9. etienne dumont

etienne dumont is an art & culture critic for a newspaper in geneva who just happens to be covered head to toe in some of the most vibrant tattoos i’ve ever seen. he also has silicon implants under the skin which give the horned appearance, 2.7 inch rings in each earlobe and plexiglass piercings through the nose and under his bottom lip. the best part has to be the blue rimmed glasses though, a perfect addition to an incredible look.

8. rick genest

would you let your daughter marry rick genest? i’m sure he’s probably a lovely chap but that’s without doubt the scariest human head i will ever see in my lifetime. there isn’t much information about mr genest himself on the internet (would you approach him for an interview?) but we do know the tattoo was crafted by the chaps at ‘derm fx tattoo‘ in montreal. job well done guys.

7. the illustrated lady

julia gnuse (aka the illustrated lady) was born with a condition called porphyria which causes her skin to blister regularly and ultimately scar. in order to cover this up she started getting tattoos applied over the affected areas - after 10 years she was covered in the bastards and is now the most tattooed woman in the world.

6. elaine davidson

in total, brazilian elaine davidson has a number of tattoos and over 2500 piercings on her body, both internally and externally, approximately 500 just around the genitals. the total extra weight she carries due to this obsession comes to around 3kg and she is thankfully the most pierced person in the world. now living in edinburgh she claims to be too scared to go home to brazil due to the attention she’d attract possibly resulting in some kind of attack.

5. kala kaiwi

kala kawai has 67 piercings and 75 % of his body is tattooed so it’s a good job he chose a career in body modification, running his own studio in hawaii. he has stretched the holes in his earlobes to 4 inches, inserted various silicon implants on his head, can screw metal spikes into the top of his skull, has a split tongue and generally looks extremely frightening. also worth bearing in mind is that he split his own tongue using dental floss and did all his own piercings.

holy shit.

4. pauly unstoppable (bme page)

with a name like ‘unstoppable’ you’d be stupid to give up on the modifications after a couple of earrings. this guy has surely the largest nostrils in the western world (if you look closely i’m almost certain you can see his brain) plus a huge array of other ‘body mods’ to his name including scars cut into his cheeks and forehead, a split tongue, domes implanted under the skin of his forehead and many many more. to see the complete list go here. to see a harrowing, nsfw photo of mr unstoppable’s private parts, click here.

3. the lizardman (website)

born eric sprague in 1972, the lizardman was one of the first people to have a split tongue and in some circles is seen to be wholly responsible for the recent popularity of this particular modification. pretty much all of his body is covered in green scale tattoos, his teeth have been filed down to sharp points and he has numerous silicon teflon implants in his head.

below is an interview with the lizardman - check out the forked tongue action.

2. lucky diamond rich (website)

it goes without saying that this guy is officially the most tattooed person in the world - he swiped the record from our friend tom leppard at #10 in 2006. he has tattoos everywhere, some of the stranger places including his eyelids, inside his ears and even on his gums. it’s apparently a work in progress and has so far included the efforts of hundreds of tattoo artists and over 1,000 hrs of pain.

obviously, he can also swallow swords.

interview…

1. stalking cat (website)

first place was always gonna go to 44 yr old dennis avner, aka stalking cat. i remember a few years ago watching a documentary about him and nearly crying when his face appeared for the first time, my brain simply wasn’t able to process the sight. he looks like a cross between jocelyn wildenstein and the beast from the old beauty & the beast tv programme.

and he’s gone the whole hog in terms of body modification: tattoos, silicon implants on his face, pointed teeth, surgically pointed ears, piercings, attachable whiskers, claws, a bifurcated top lip and even an animatronic tiger’s tail. he says he’s been going through these procedures for the past 20 years because he grew up in a native american tribe and his belief in their customs drove him to transform into his totem animal - the tiger.

ONE LEGGED DANCER....BRILLIANT

FOR ALL YOU BABY BOOMERS

Turn on your sound and click the link below


www.newsday.comPublish Post/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

FUNNY GIF'S

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THEM FOREIGNERS IS A RIGHT BUNCH, SAY ANGRY OLD MEN





'I like to watch the telly', said Lord Wakeham


THEM foreigners who come over here, taking our jobs and sticking their knobs in our lovely young poppets is ruining Britain, according to a major report by a committee of old men.


The old men said all this immigration was terrible and that you couldn't get a seat on the bus because it's full of Bulgarian fruit pickers.

Committee member Lord Wakeham said: "I remember when you could go to the pictures and see a nice film starring Kenneth More and that lovely Jean Simmonds. There was a proper lady. Now it's all 'bang, bang, bang'. And the music? Cor, what a racket."

Lord Lamont said: "I had one of them Polish fellas round my house. I says, 'Oi, Ivan can't you speak no English, eh? Can't even say please or thank you?'

"It's a disgrace is what it is. Lucky for him he did such a magnificent job on my downstairs loo or he'd have got my old boot up his thievin' backside."

Lord McGregor added: "I told my grandson he should get himself a job pickin' fruit. 'Put some money in your pocket', I says, 'take that nice young girl of yours to the seaside for the day'.

"He says to me, 'Grandad, I'd rather go on the dole than pick stinkin' old fruit'. I says to him, 'if you don't, it'll be all them Bulgars pickin' that fruit and takin' your girl to the seaside and doin' dirty Bulgarian things to her up the back of the Co-op'."

Home Office minister Liam Byrne said: "Whenever I want intelligent, rational advice on the issue of immigration the first thing I do is talk to some angry old men."

Monday, March 31, 2008

HONESTY IN MARRIAGE

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BEFORE MARRIAGE:


Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!

Wife - Do you want me to leave?

Husband - No! Don't even think about it.

Wife - Do you love me?

Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!

Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?

Husband - No! Why are you even asking?

Wife - Will you kiss me?

Husband - Every chance I get!

Wife - Will you hit me?

Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!

Wife - Can I trust you?

Husband - Yes.

Wife - Darling!

AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

A VERY SLOW SLAP IN THE FACE

AWARENESS TEST

PEPSI

MOUNTAIN DEW