Friday, July 04, 2008


WOMEN Don't waste energy faking orgasms.
Most men couldn't give a shit anyway, and you could use the saved energy to vacuum the house after you've been shagged.

WIFE: "Lets try the missionary position."
HUSBAND: "OK, what do we do?"
WIFE: "I'll stay here and you fuck off to Africa!"

I had my dreams crushed yesterday.
It turns out the newspaper headline "Village still looking for Sex Maniac" wasn't a vacancy.

I was wanking over a porno magazine this morning, when my mum caught me and started slapping me around the head……. until the newsagent stopped her.

What's the difference between a western girl and an Arab girl?

The western girl gets stoned before she commits adultery.

I'm sorry, but I don't agree with all these jokes about blacks.
When I was a kid, my best mate was black and we did everything together, until my dad sold him.

A guy goes to the doctors.
"I cant stop wanking over 17 year old black girls" he says.
The doctor gives him a packet and says " Try these, one a day on your arm"
"What are they?" asks the guy
"Nigger Teen patches" comes the reply.

I read today that a quarter of over 50s are failing to save.
It's CTRL & S. You old Silly old Fuckers.

What do you call a Muslim desperate for a drink ?
Allah Vabeer

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