Friday, June 06, 2008


I was arguing with the wife about holidays the other day
I want to go to Morocco.
She wants to come with me.

Contrary to the popular cartoon, there are actually no builders in the UK called Bob.
That's because "Bob" isn't a Polish name.

I made that classic mistake last night that all guys make. I got really drunk, and I ended up having sex with my best friend.
Now, I can't even bring myself to talk to him.
To be honest, I don't even want to play fetch with him

The package said RIBBED - FOR HER PLEASURE!
So I turned it inside out.

After learning of the possible closure of his Neverland Ranch, Michael Jackson has told of his intention to build a brand new dinosaur theme park. He's promised that every kid who visits will leave with a megasoreass.

What have Guinness and a priest got in common?
Both have black coats and white collars, and God help your arse if you get a bad one.

I got aroused last week whilst watching Countdown with Carol Vorderman.
7 letters isn't too shabby is it?

A woman was talking to her friend the other day
"honestly i dont know how i keep getting pregnant,
it must be something in the air"
the other woman replies "yes, your legs"

The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my house.
I didn't know what to make of it.

What's brown and sticky?
My poster of Beyonce

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