Saturday, August 18, 2007

SEXISM EXAM

Examination Paper. SEXISM STUDIES

Time allowed 3 hrs. Attempt all questions.

Section A (50%)

Explain why the best women's cricket team in the world wouldn't stand a chance against you and ten of your mates. Include in your answer:

  1. Why they throw the ball like spastics and catch crocodile style
  2. What you wouldn't mind doing with them in the showers after the match.
  3. Pamela Anderson's tits are plastic but look good in photographs.
  4. Compare and contrast the relative merits of plastic and real tits for recreational purposes.
  5. It is a long established fact that fat lasses are more grateful for it.
  6. Outline some of the reasons why this is so, and explain why all Feminists are fat, ugly lesbians.
  7. Compare and contrast video lesbians with those have encountered in real life.
  8. Write a critique of any ONE of the following films you have watched at your mate’s house while his parents were away for the weekend. Include in your discussion a justification for such films to be considered "art-house" rather than pornographic.
  • White Water Shafting
  • Three Into One Will Go
  • King Dong
  • Speared by Zulu Lovers

Section B (50%)

  1. Describe an experiment to impress a girl by lighting a fart. What apparatus would you require?. What risks would you run in lighting a fart and what are the benefits?. Write a balanced chemical equation to describe the reaction that takes place when an eggy fart is lit in a pub with a match.
  2. Name something a woman has invented.
  3. On average, women live 7 years longer than men yet get their pension 5 years earlier. Explain why this isn't fair, making reference to your lazy old granny who lived to be 100 and your poor granddad who worked 52 years down the pit and died the day before he retired.
  4. Argue heatedly over the respective merits of the Lamborghini Diablo and the Ferrari Testarossa without ever having seen, let alone driven, either.
  5. Discuss the philosophical implications of this statement: "If a man speaks in a forest, and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?"

Women drivers, eh? Discuss.

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