Tuesday, August 14, 2007


Council complaints from around the UK
Genuine clips from council complaint letters

1 My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it

2 He’s got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it anymore

3 It’s the dogs mess that I find really hard to swallow

4 I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off

5 I wish to complain that my father has hurt his ankle very badly, then he put his foot in the hole in his back passage

6 And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence

7 I wish to complain that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other night that blew them off.

8 My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand

9 I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall

10 Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesturday and now she is pregnant

11 I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen

12 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy

13 I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers

14 The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared

15 Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink

16 Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces

17 I want to complain about the farmer across the road, every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it’s now getting too much for me

18 The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous

19 Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to do something about it

20 I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you pleased do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.

21 Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife

22 I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction

23 This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can’t get

No comments: