Wednesday, August 01, 2007

GAY JOKES

This Faggot goes to the doctor and him to test him for AIDS. A week later he goes back and the doctor confirms his worst
fears - the tests showed positive. The fag is destroyed. He breaks down and begs the doctor to prescribe him something, anything, that'll help.
"Well," the doctor says. "Go down to the health food store and buy a kilo of prunes, then go to the chemist and get some strong laxatives; then wander down to the supermarket and buy a bottle of Tobasco sauce and some chilli powder. Go home and mix it all together and heat it on the stove for 20 minutes....then drink it!"
The faggot's a bit dubious, "And that'll cure the AIDS?" he asks.
"No," says the doctor smiling, "but it'll teach you what you what your arsehole is for!"




A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents. He went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you: I'm gay."
His mother made no reply and gave no response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay -- doesn't that mean you put other men's penises in your mouth?"
The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right."
His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around, whacked him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about my cooking again!!!!!"




A country boy ends up in the big city. He is walking around in awe of everything. He decides to quench his thirst and enters a bar. After a couple of beers, off he goes to the loo. He walks into the toilet and is shocked at what he sees. He quickly leaves.
The barkeep lisps, "What's wrong?"
The country boy replies," You wouldn't believe what is going on in there."
"What?"
The country boy is shaking his head, "Well there is a guy standing at the urinal being corn-holed by a guy behind him. And that guy is getting his fudge packed by a guy behind HIM."
The bartender leans in closer, gets all serious and lisps out his next question. "The guy in the middle wouldn't have been wearing a yellow T-shirt would he?"
"I think he was. Why?"
"He's lucky at cards too."




There are these two queers, named Cyril and Cecil, driving happily along in their car. As they came to an intersection, they stopped for the red light. All of a sudden a big articulated truck comes crunching through the back of their car!
Cyril and Cecil were really pissed! Cyril says to Cecil to get out of the car to tell off the truck driver.
So Cecil gets out of the car and approaches the truck driver, who apparently is one huge mother trucker (tattoos and all)!
"You bloody idiot! Look at what you've done to our beloved car!", exclaims Cecil. "You're going to pay for this damage you know!"
"Fuck you!", shouts the truck driver.
This prompted Cecil to go back to his car, to discuss the situation with Cyril.
"I think he wants to settle out of court, Cyril."

1 comment:

Electra said...

Good for people to know.