Thursday, July 05, 2007

A SON'S LETTER TO HIS MUM

A mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the bed. It was addressed,
"Mum"
With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands..... It read:-
Dear Mum:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing this. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you & Dad .
I've been finding real passion with Barbara and she is so nice even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mum, she's pregnant and she assures me that we will be very happy.
Even though you don't care for her since she is so much older than I am, she already owns a trailer in Moe and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
Barbara taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we need.
In the meantime, we pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Barbara can get better; she deserves it!
Don't worry, Mum, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your Son,
Andy x

P.S. Mum, none of this is true. I am over at Ben’s house, but I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my school report. Which, is in my bedside drawer.
I love you!

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