Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A COUPLE OF CLEAN JOKES

50's Date

It's the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He's a pretty hip guy with his own car.

When he goes to the front door, the girl's father answers and invites him in.

"Carrie's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?" he asks.

"That's cool," says Bobby.

Carrie's father asks Bobby what they're planning to do.

Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie.

Carrie's father responds, "Why don't you two go out and screw? I hear all the kids are doing it."

Naturally, this comes as a quite a surprise to Bobby, so he asks Carrie's Dad to repeat it.

"Yeah," says Carries father, "Carrie really likes to screw, she'll screw all night if we let her!"

Well, this just made Bobby's eyes light up, and immediately revised his plans for the evening.

A few minutes later, Carrie comes downstairs in her little poodle skirt and announces that she's ready to go.

Almost breathless with anticipation, Bobby escorts his date out the front door.

About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly dishevelled Carrie rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father:
Dammit daddy its called the TWIST, its Called the TWIST

A Husband Is At Home Watching The Football When His Wife Interrupts,

"honey, Could You Fix The Light In The Hallway?it's Been Flickering For Weeks Now"

He Looks At Her Angrily;

"fix The Light. Now? Does It Look Like I Have An Electricians Logo Printed On My Forhead? I Dont Think So!"

The Wife Asks.

"well Then, Could You Fix The Fridge Door? It Wont Close Right"

To Which He Replied

"fix The Fridge Door? Does It Look Like I Have Hotpoint Written On My Forehead? I Dont Think So".

Fine, She Says.

"then Could You At Least Fix The Steps To The Front Door? They're About To Break".

" I'm Not A Damn Carpenter And I Dont Want To Fix The Steps, Does It Look Like I Have Woodies Diy Written On My Forehead? I Dont Think So. I've Had Enough Of You I'm Going To The Pub".

So He Goes To The Bar And Drinks For A Couple Of Hours. He Starts To Feel Guilty About How He Treated His Wife And Decides To Go Home And Help Out. As He Walks Into The House He Notices The Steps Are Slready Fixed. As He Enters The House He Sees The Hall Light Is Working. As He Goes To Get A Beer He Notices The Fridge Door Is Fixed.

"honey...how Did All This Get Fixed"

She Said.

"well, When You Left I Sat Outside And Cried, Just Then A Nice Young Man Asked Me What Was Wrong, And I Told Him. He Offered To Do All The Repairs, And All I Had To Do Was Either Go To Bed With Him Or Bake A Cake"

He Said

" So What Kind Of Cake Did You Bake For Him?"

She Replied

"hellooooo..........do You See Delia Smith Written On My Forehead? I Dont Think So!"

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