Tuesday, April 18, 2006

JOKES OF THE DAY 10/04

Bill and Alice decided that the only way they could manage a little romance with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. “There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he said. “An ambulance just drove by.”
A few moments passed. “Looks like the Andersons have company,” he called out, “Matt’s riding a new bike and the Smiths are in the bedroom having a fuck.”
Mom and Dad shot up in bed. “How do you know that?” the startled father yelled.
“Because Tommy Smith is standing out on the balcony too!”


A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still!"
If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
The man was astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked.
“I’m on your shoulder” the voice replied.
"Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the fuck, were you when I got married?"


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