Monday, March 13, 2006

JOKES OF THE DAY 13/03

Two young guys were picked up by the cops for smoking dope and appeared in court before the judge. The judge said, "You seem like nice young men, and I'd like to give you a second chance rather than jail time. I want you to go out this weekend and try to show others the evils of drug use and get them to give up drugs forever. I'll see you back in court Monday." Monday, the two guys were in court, and the judge said to the first one, "How did you do over the weekend?" "Well, your honor, I persuaded 17 people to give up drugs forever." "Seventeen people? That's wonderful. What did you tell them?" "I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles like this and told them this big circle is your brain before drugs and this small circle is your brain after drugs". "That's admirable," said the judge. "And you, how did you do?” the judge asked the second boy. "Well, your honor, I persuaded 150 people to give up drugs forever." "One-hundred-fifty people! That's amazing! How did you manage to do that?" "Well, I used a similar approach. I said, "This small circle is your asshole before prison...."

A woman enrolled in nursing school was attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day was concerning involuntary muscles.
The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asked the woman, "Do you know what your asshole does when you're having an orgasm?"
"Sure," she said, "he's at home, taking care of the kids."

A yuppie walked into a doctor's surgery and demanded the quack have a look at his dick.
"Why, what's wrong with it?" the doc asked.
"I'll show you", the yuppie yelled, and dropped his trousers.
His dick was the size of a jellybean, and the doctor couldn't help himself. He burst out laughing.
"It's nothing to laugh at," complained the yuppie, close to tears.
"It's been swollen like that for the last three days!"

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