Sunday, March 12, 2006

JOKES OF THE DAY 12/03

These two whales where swimming in the ocean. One of the whales notices a whaling ship up above and says to the other, "Hey that looks like the same whaling ship that got our friend just the other day." And the other says, "Yeah, I got an Idea. Lets go blow some bubbles underneath and tip the boat over." The other agrees and before long men are spilling into the ocean. One whale says, "Ok lets go eat some of those men." and the other whale replies, "I don't mind a good blow, but I made a rule never to swallow sea men"

A man is in a garden, when a ladder comes down from the heavens. He hears an unearthly voice saying : "Climb the ladder to success". So he goes up, and after a while, there's a really ugly woman on a landing on the side of the ladder. She says to him: "Fuck me or climb the ladder to success." He thinks about it, but decides he rather have success.
He goes up, and sees two quite nice women sitting on a landing on the side. "Fuck us or climb the ladder to success." He thinks about it, but decides it’s not worth it.
He goes up again, and there are three really beautiful women on the next landing. "Fuck us or climb the ladder to success." He thinks about it, but realises that the women are getting much more beautiful, younger, and are increasing in number as he climbs the ladder. So he climbs the ladder, and reaches the top.
There’s a young man sitting there. "Hi, I'm Cess."

This guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny...keep me potent."
The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with an "X" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go NUTS for 12 hours!" the guy says, "Gimme 3 boxes." The next day, the same guy walks into the same pharmacy, right up to the same pharmacist and pulls down his pants.
The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black and blue, and the skin is hanging off in some places.
The man says, "Gimme a bottle of Tiger Balm"
The pharmacist replies, "TIGER BALM?!?!?! You're not going to put Tiger Balm on that are you?"
The guy says, "No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."


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