Wednesday, February 27, 2008


I woke up this morning and there was a black coffin outside my door.....
So I gave him a packet of Lockets and told him to fuck off....

I went to the cemetery yesterday,
there were 4 pall bearers walking around with a coffin.
3 hours later they were still walking around with it.

I thought to myself :
"These Fuckers have lost the plot"

Christiano Ronaldo goes to the doctors and says "doctor every time I look in the mirror I get turned on" the doctor says "I'm not surprised you're a cunt!"

Why did Cristiano Ronaldo want a transfer to Tottenham Hotspur?
Because he heard their strikers were Bent and Keane.

A girl was granted 2 wishes, so she wished for bigger tits and with a woosh her 32A went to 38DD, so for her second wish she asked for a tight cunt, so she will ring you later

How do you know if you`ve passed an elephant in the dark?
It won’t flush away and you cant get the seat down!

Two abo's are standing on a cliff one holding a didge the other holding a boomerang, they both jump off at the same time, who wins?

What's the difference between an abo and a park bench?
A park bench can support a family.

If you had a poofter on your back, would you leave him there or pull him off?

Why have elephants got 4 feet?
Cos they'd look fucking stupid with 3 inches!

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