Thursday, July 19, 2007


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The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

They told me I was gullible... I should never have believed them.

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once -- or was it twice.

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Never trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent.

Is it possible to be a closet claustrophobic?

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