Sunday, January 07, 2007

RACIAL QUICKIES

Why do Black people have names like something out of the chemists? “My name is Advil, this is my wife Cloret. Hey Tynenol, would you turn down the TV, it’s givin’ me a headache, and these are the twins Murene and Visine….


My friend is a Sicilian, he tells me not all Sicilians are in the mob, some are in witness protection.


There are now reports that France may agree to train Iraqi soldiers. Why? I thought Iraqis already knew how to surrender.


According to the Australian Department of Agriculture, Australians are eating four times as much Chinese food as it did 20 years ago. Well, of course, we have four times as many Chinese people.


Experts at Guinness have announced that a man in Ireland has set a new world record for having the most cement blocks smashed on his groin. The old record was none.


Jesus had a Jewish mother. She said "If you don't finish the Last Supper.
You don't get any Last Dessert!"


The Black, Gay, Women's Liberation, Communist Caucus withdrew its invitation for Jane Fonda to address the group, saying the actress was too controversial.


Remember the world is a big place. Even if you're one in a million, that means 1000 people in China look exactly like you.


Last month a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest

Opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a failure.

In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't now what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

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