Monday, October 16, 2006

TODAYS JOKES

She told me we couldn't afford beer anymore and I'd have to quit. Then I caught her spending £65.00 on make-up. And I asked how come I had to give up stuff and she didn't. She said she needed the make-up to look pretty for me. I told her that was what the beer was for.
I don't think she's coming back


A Somalian arrives in London as a new immigrant to England.
He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr Englishman for letting me in this country!" But the passerby says "You are mistaken, I am a Pakistani".
The man goes on and encounters another passerby.
"Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in England!" The person says
"I not English. I am from Hong Kong".
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful England!" That person puts up his hand andsays "I am from Iran, I am not English".
He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you an English citizen?". She says, "No, I am from Romania!"
So he is puzzled, and asks her, "Where are all the English?" The Romanian lady looks at her watch, shrugs and says .....
"Probably at work".


Tony Blair is at his weekly meeting with The Queen, when he turns round and says: "As I'm the PM, I'm thinking of changing how the Country is referred to, and I'm thinking that it should be a Kingdom", to which the Queen replies,
"I'm sorry Mr Blair, but to be a Kingdom, you have to have a King in charge ........ and you're not a King." Tony Blair thought a while and then said: "How about a Principality then?" to which the Queen replied "Sorry again, but to be a Principality, you have to be a Prince ............ and you're not a Prince, Mr Blair".
Again, Blair thought long and hard and came up with "How about an Empire then?" The Queen, getting a little pissed off by now replied "Sorry again, Mr Blair, but to be an Empire you must have an Emperor in charge ............. and you are not an Emperor."
Before Tony Blair could utter another word, The Queen said: "I think we're doing quite nicely as a Country" ...

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