Two nuns are being attacked and raped in an alley,
One nun looks up the sky and says” dear Lord, forgive them, for they know not what they do”.
The second nun says “Oh God, this fucker does”.
A Jewish boy has been born with no eyelids, doctors came up with the idea of making some out of the foreskin when he was circumcised, but the mother said no, “it might make him cock-eyed”.
A man goes into the chemist and says to the girl behind the counter “have you got any KY jelly”? The girl says “I’m sorry, we’re out of stock, have you tried Boots”? The bloke said “ Jesus love, I want to slide in, not fuckin’ march in”.
What’s the best thing about fingering a fortune teller when she’s having a period?
You get your palm red for nothing.
A tramp walks into a jewellers shop, drops his pants and sticks a finger up his arse.
The jeweler says “you dirty bastard, what do you think you are doing”?
The tramp said “don’t blame me, the sign in your window says….. COME IN, AND PICK YOUR RING IN COMFORT”.
What’s the difference between a 69 and driving in thick fog?
When you drive in fog, you can’t see the Arsehole in front of you.
Camilla Parker Bowles goes to her doctor and says “ whenever I suck Charles’s cock, I get indigestion”
The doctor said “have you tried Andrews”?
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