Monday, March 20, 2006

JOKES OF THE DAY 18/03

A guy runs into this girl at a bar. After a few drinks and a little dancing, they decide that they're going to end up spending the night together. In the car on the way back to his house, she looks at him guiltily and says, "I have a confession to make. This bra that I'm wearing," she continues, "well, its padded."
He quickly responds, "that's okay, it doesn't matter."
"Its *really* padded," she adds. "I'm flat as a baby," she explains, "there's, like, nothing there."
"I guess thats okay," he follows, "I have a confession to make as well."
After a moment, he continues, "I'm, sorta, well, hung like a baby."
She ponders a moment and agrees that it really doesn't matter, and that they're both going to have fun anyway.
When they arrive at his house, they go into the bedroom and begin undressing. Sure enough, she removes her bra and she's so flat that you can see her ribs.
He smiles at her, takes his pants off, and his damn member hits the floor!
"What!" she exclaims, "I thought that you said you were hung like a baby!"
"I am," he replied, "8 pounds, 24 inches!"

Two men are sitting at a bar.
One impeccably dressed in an Armani suit the other in his work clothes.
The business man turns to the other and says
" I bought my wife a brand new BMW and a 5 carat diamond for mother's day"
The worker looks confused and say
"Why two such extravagant gifts?"
"Well...if she decides she doesn't like the ring she can drive her BMW back
to Tiffany's and exchange it for what she would prefer"
"Oh" says the worker" I did something similar for my wife"
"How so?" says the business man
"Well I bought her a pair of slippers and a dildo"
The business man looked truly confused
"Well..ye see..if she doesn't like the slippers she can go Fuck herself"


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