nortygordytherudeone

LETTER TO VIRGIN AIRLINES

2009-02-03T20:38:00.000-03:00

Greatest ever letter of complaint

This is a genuine letter of complaint sent to Sir Richard Branson. We know that because we checked with Virgin. Polly in the press office confirmed that Branson phoned the man back because "he always likes to hear feedback".

But she wouldn't confirm rumours that the Virgin boss thought this was the funniest letter of complaint he'd ever received.

Dear Mr Branson

REF: Mumbai to Heathrow 7th December 2008

I love the Virgin brand, I really do which is why I continue to use it despite a series of unfortunate incidents over the last few years. This latest incident takes the biscuit.

Ironically, by the end of the flight I would have gladly paid over a thousand rupees for a single biscuit following the culinary journey of hell I was subjected to at thehands of your corporation.

Look at this Richard. Just look at it:

I imagine the same questions are racing through your brilliant mind as were racing through mine on that fateful day. What is this? Why have I been given it? What have I done to deserve this? And, which one is the starter, which one is the desert?

You don’t get to a position like yours Richard with anything less than a generous sprinkling of observational power so I KNOW you will have spotted the tomato next to the two yellow shafts of sponge on the left. Yes, it’s next to the sponge shaft without the green paste. That’s got to be the clue hasn’t it. No sane person would serve a desert with a tomato would they. Well answer me this Richard, what sort of animal would serve a desert with peas in:

I know it looks like a baaji but it’s in custard Richard, custard. It must be the pudding. Well you’ll be fascinated to hear that it wasn't custard. It was a sour gel with a clear oil on top. It’s only redeeming feature was that it managed to be so alien to my palette that it took away the taste of the curry emanating from our miscellaneous central cuboid of beige matter. Perhaps the meal on the left might be the desert after all.

Anyway, this is all irrelevant at the moment. I was raised strictly but neatly by my parents and if they knew I had started desert before the main course, a sponge shaft would be the least of my worries. So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what’s on offer.

I’ll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it’s Christmas morning and you’re sat their with your final present to open. It’s a big one, and you know what it is. It’s that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.

Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing. That’s how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this:

Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking it’s more of that Baaji custard. I admit I thought the same too, but no. It’s mustard Richard. MUSTARD. More mustard than any man could consume in a month. On the left we have a piece of broccoli and some peppers in a brown glue-like oil and on the right the chef had prepared some mashed potato. The potato masher had obviously broken and so it was decided the next best thing would be to pass the potatoes through the digestive tract of a bird.

Once it was regurgitated it was clearly then blended and mixed with a bit of mustard. Everybody likes a bit of mustard Richard.

By now I was actually starting to feel a little hypoglycaemic. I needed a sugar hit. Luckily there was a small cookie provided. It had caught my eye earlier due to it’s baffling presentation:

It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn’t want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.

I was exhausted. All I wanted to do was relax but obviously I had to sit with that mess in front of me for half an hour. I swear the sponge shafts moved at one point.

Once cleared, I decided to relax with a bit of your world-famous onboard entertainment. I switched it on:

I apologise for the quality of the photo, it’s just it was incredibly hard to capture Boris Johnson’s face through the flickering white lines running up and down the screen. Perhaps it would be better on another channel:

Is that Ray Liotta? A question I found myself asking over and over again throughout the gruelling half-hour I attempted to watch the film like this. After that I switched off. I’d had enough. I was the hungriest I’d been in my adult life and I had a splitting headache from squinting at a crackling screen.

My only option was to simply stare at the seat in front and wait for either food, or sleep. Neither came for an incredibly long time. But when it did it surpassed my wildest expectations:

Yes! It’s another crime-scene cookie. Only this time you dunk it in the white stuff.

Richard…. What is that white stuff? It looked like it was going to be yoghurt. It finally dawned on me what it was after staring at it. It was a mixture between the Baaji custard and the Mustard sauce. It reminded me of my first week at university. I had overheard that you could make a drink by mixing vodka and refreshers. I lied to my new friends and told them I’d done it loads of times. When I attempted to make the drink in a big bowl it formed a cheese Richard, a cheese. That cheese looked a lot like your baaji-mustard.

So that was that Richard. I didn’t eat a bloody thing. My only question is: How can you live like this? I can’t imagine what dinner round your house is like, it must be like something out of a nature documentary.

As I said at the start I love your brand, I really do. It’s just a shame such a simple thing could bring it crashing to it’s knees and begging for sustenance.

Yours Sincererly...

Oren Lavie - Her Morning Elegance

2009-02-03T20:28:00.000-03:00

PORN YOU CAN WATCH AT WORK.... MAYBE!!

2009-01-14T01:38:00.000-03:00

Diesel's SFW XXX Party Clip - Watch more Free Videos

INCREDIBLE 5 YEAR OLD GYMNAST / DANCER

2009-01-13T00:30:00.000-03:00

Ridiculously Amazing Toddler Gymnast - Watch more Sports Videos

SONGFACTS

2009-01-12T23:39:00.004-03:00

Everything you want to know about thousands of songs and artists.

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UNUSUAL DEATHS OF THE 20TH CENTURY

2009-01-12T23:22:00.000-03:00

20th century

1912: Franz Reichelt, tailor, fell to his death off the first deck of the Eiffel Tower while testing his invention, the coat parachute. It was his first ever attempt with the parachute and he had told the authorities in advance he would test it first with a dummy.^[38]
1916: Grigori Rasputin, Russian mystic, was reportedly poisoned while dining with a political enemy, shot in the head, shot three more times, bludgeoned, and then thrown into a frozen river. When his body washed ashore, an autopsy showed the cause of death to be hypothermia. However, there is now some doubt about the credibility of this account.^[39]
1918: Gustav Kobbé, writer and musicologist, was killed when the sailboat he was on was struck by a landing seaplane off Long Island, N.Y.^[40]
1919: In the Boston Molasses Disaster, 21 people were killed and 150 were injured when a tank containing as much as 2,300,000 US gal (8,700,000 L) of Molasses exploded, sending a wave traveling at approximately 35 mph (56 km/h) through part of Boston, Massachusetts, United States. Most fatalities and injuries were caused by the concussive force of the blast or by asphyxiation as victims failed to swim free of the viscous molasses and drowned. ^[41]
1923: Martha Mansfield, an American film actress, died after sustaining severe burns on the set of the film The Warrens of Virginia after a smoker's match, tossed by a cast member, ignited her Civil War costume of hoopskirts and ruffles.^[42]
1923: George Herbert, 5th Earl of Carnarvon, became the first to die from the alleged King Tut's Curse after a mosquito bite on his face became seriously infected with erysipelas, which he cut while shaving, leading to blood poisoning and eventually pneumonia.^[43]^[44]
1925: Zishe (Siegmund) Breitbart, a circus strongman and Jewish folklore hero, died as a result of a demonstration in which he drove a spike through five one-inch thick oak boards using only his bare hands. He accidentally pierced his knee. The spike was rusted and caused an infection which led to fatal blood poisoning. He was the subject of the Werner Herzog film, Invincible.^[45]
1927: J.G. Parry-Thomas, a Welsh racing driver, was decapitated by his car's drive chain which, under stress, snapped and whipped into the cockpit. He was attempting to break his own land speed record which he had set the previous year. Despite being killed in the attempt, he succeeded in setting a new record of 171 mph.^[46]
1927: Isadora Duncan, dancer, died of accidental strangulation and broken neck when one of the long scarves she was known for caught on the wheel of a car in which she was a passenger.^[47]
1928: Alexander Bogdanov, a Russian physician, died following one of his experiments, in which the blood of a student suffering from malaria and tuberculosis, L. I. Koldomasov, was given to him in a transfusion.^[48]
1932: Eben Byers died of radiation poisoning after having consumed large quantities of a popular patent medicine containing radium.^[49]
1932: Peg Entwistle, actress, leapt to her death from the “H” of the Hollywood Sign, following her perceived rejection from the industry for which the sign stood. The day after her death, a letter arrived from the Beverly Hills Playhouse, in which she was offered the lead role in a play about a woman driven to suicide.^[50]
1933: Michael Malloy, a homeless man, was murdered by gassing after surviving multiple poisonings, intentional exposure, and being struck by a car. Malloy was murdered by five men in a plot to collect on life insurance policies they had purchased.^[51]
1935: Baseball player Len Koenecke was bludgeoned to death with a fire extinguisher by the crew of an aircraft he had chartered, after provoking a fight with the pilot while the plane was in the air.^[52]
1939: Finnish actress Sirkka Sari died when she fell down a chimney. She was at a cast party celebrating the completion of a movie, her third and last. She mistook a chimney for a balcony and fell into a heating boiler, dying instantly.^[53]^[54]
1940: Marcus Garvey died after suffering either a cerebral hemorrhage or heart attack while reading his own obituary, which stated in part that he died "broke, alone and unpopular".^[55]
1941: Sherwood Anderson, writer, swallowed a toothpick at a party and then died of peritonitis.^[56]
1943: Critic Alexander Woollcott suffered a fatal heart attack during an on-air discussion about Adolf Hitler.^[57]
1944: Inventor and chemist Thomas Midgley, Jr. accidentally strangled himself with the cord of a pulley-operated mechanical bed of his own design.^[58]
1945: Scientist Harry K. Daghlian, Jr. accidentally dropped a brick of tungsten carbide onto a sphere of plutonium while working on the Manhattan Project. This caused the plutonium to come to criticality; Daghlian died of radiation poisoning, becoming the first person to die in a criticality accident.^[59]
1946: Louis Slotin, chemist and physicist, died of radiation poisoning after being exposed to lethal amounts of ionizing radiation. He died in a very similar way as Harry K. Daghlian, Jr., from dropping a block of material on the same sphere of plutonium by accident. The sphere of plutonium was nicknamed the Demon core^[60]
1947: The Collyer brothers, extreme cases of compulsive hoarders, were found dead in their home in New York. The younger brother, Langley, died by falling victim to a booby trap he had set up, causing a mountain of objects, books, and newspapers to fall on him crushing him to death. His blind brother, Homer, who had depended on Langley for care, died of starvation some days later. Their bodies were recovered after massive efforts in removing many tons of debris from their home.^[61]
1955: Margo Jones, theater director, was killed by exposure to carbon tetrachloride fumes from her newly cleaned carpet.^[62]
1956: Nina Hamnett, artist, died from complications after falling out her apartment window and being impaled on the fence forty feet below.^[63]
1958: Gareth Jones, actor, collapsed and died while in make-up between scenes of a live television play, Underground, at the studios of Associated British Corporation in Manchester. Director Ted Kotcheff continued the play to its conclusion, improvising around Jones's absence.^[64]
1959: In the Dyatlov Pass incident, Nine ski hikers in the Ural Mountains abandoned their camp in the middle of the night in apparent terror, some clad only in their underwear despite sub-zero weather. Six of the hikers died of hypothermia and three by unexplained fatal injuries. Though the corpses showed no signs of struggle, one victim had a fatal skull fracture, two had major chest fractures (comparable in force to a car accident), and one was missing her tongue. The victims' clothing also contained high levels of radiation. Soviet investigators determined only that "a compelling unknown force" had caused the deaths, barring entry to the area for years thereafter.^[65]
1960: In the Nedelin disaster, over 100 Soviet missile technicians and officials died when a switch was turned on unintentionally igniting the rocket, including Red Army Marshal Nedelin who was seated in a deck chair just 40 meters away overseeing launch preparations. The events were filmed by automatic cameras.^[66]
1960: Inejiro Asanuma, 61, the head of the Japanese Socialist Party, was stabbed to death with a wakizashi sword by extreme rightist Otoya Yamaguchi during a televised parliamentary debate. Yamaguchi was immediately arrested and later committed suicide.^[67]
1961: Valentin Bondarenko, a Soviet cosmonaut trainee, died from shock after suffering third-degree burns over much of his body due to a flash fire in the pure oxygen environment of a training simulator. This incident was not revealed outside of the Soviet Union until the 1980s.^[68]
1963: Thích Quảng Đức, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, sat down in the middle of a busy intersection in Saigon, covered himself in gasoline, and lit himself on fire, burning himself to death. Đức was protesting President Ngô Đình Diệm's administration for oppressing the Buddhist religion.^[69]
1966: Worth Bingham, son of Barry Bingham, Sr., died when the surfboard lying atop the back of his convertible hit a parked car, swung around, and broke his neck.^[70]
1967: Gus Grissom, Ed White, and Roger B. Chaffee, NASA astronauts, died when a flash fire began in their pure oxygen environment during a training exercise inside the unlaunched Apollo 1 spacecraft. The door to the capsule could not be opened during the fire because of its particular design.^[71]
1967: Vladimir Komarov became the first person to die during a space mission after the parachute of his capsule failed to deploy following re-entry.^[72]
1970: Yukio Mishima, award-winning Japanese playwright and novelist, committed seppuku after failing to inspire a coup d'état at the headquarters of the Japanese Self-Defence Forces in Tokyo.^[73]
1971: Jerome Irving Rodale, an American pioneer of organic farming, died of a heart attack while being interviewed on The Dick Cavett Show. According to urban legend, when he appeared to fall asleep, Cavett quipped "Are we boring you, Mr. Rodale?"^[74]. Cavett says this is incorrect; the initial response was fellow guest Pete Hamill saying in a low voice to Cavett, "This looks bad."^[75] The show was never broadcast.
1972: Leslie Harvey, guitarist of Stone the Crows, was electrocuted on stage by a live microphone.^[76]
1973: Bruce Lee, a martial arts actor, is thought to have died by a severe allergic reaction to Equagesic. His brain had swollen about 13%. His autopsy was written as "death by misadventure."^[77]
1974: Christine Chubbuck, an American television news reporter, committed suicide during a live broadcast on 15 July. At 9:38 AM, 8 minutes into her talk show, on WXLT-TV in Sarasota, Florida, she drew out a revolver and shot herself in the head.^[78]
1974: Deborah Gail Stone, 18, an employee at Disneyland in Anaheim, California, was crushed to death between a moving wall and a stationary wall inside of the revolving America Sings attraction. ^[79]
1975: Physicist and businessman Kip Siegel died of a stroke while testifying before a US Congressional subcommittee.^[80]
1975: Bandō Mitsugorō VIII, a Japanese kabuki actor, died of severe poisoning when he ate four fugu livers (also known as pufferfish). The liver is considered one of the most poisonous parts of the fish, but Mitsugorō claimed to be immune to the poison. The fugu chef felt he could not refuse Mitsugorō and lost his license as a result.^[81]
1976: Keith Relf, former singer for British rhythm and blues band The Yardbirds, died while practicing his electric guitar. He was electrocuted because the amplifier was not properly grounded.^[82]
1977: Tom Pryce (Formula One driver) and Jansen Van Vuuren (a track marshal) both died at the 1977 South African Grand Prix after Van Vuuren ran across the track beyond a blind brow to attend to another car which had caught fire and was struck by Pryce's car at approximately 170mph. Pryce was struck in the face by the marshal's fire extinguisher and was killed instantly.^[83]
1978: Georgi Markov, a Bulgarian dissident, was assassinated in London with a specially modified umbrella that fired a metal pellet with a small cavity full of ricin into his calf.
1978: Janet Parker, a British medical photographer, died of smallpox in 1978, ten months after the disease was eradicated in the wild, when a researcher at the laboratory Parker worked at accidentally released some virus into the air of the building. She is believed to be the last smallpox fatality in history.^[84]
1978: Claude François, a French pop singer, was electrocuted when he tried to change a light bulb while standing in his bathtub which was full of water at the time.^[85]
1978: Kurt Gödel, the Austrian/American mathematician, died of starvation when his wife was hospitalized. Gödel suffered from extreme paranoia and refused to eat food prepared by anyone else. He was 65 pounds (approx. 30 kg) when he died. His death certificate reported that he died of "malnutrition and inanition caused by personality disturbance" in Princeton Hospital on 14 January 1978.^[86]
1979: Robert Williams, a worker at a Ford Motor Co. plant, was the first known man to be killed by a robot.^[87]
1981: Carl McCunn paid a bush pilot to drop him at a remote lake near the Coleen River in Alaska in March 1981 to photograph wildlife, but failed to confirm arrangements for the pilot to pick him up again in August. Rather than starve, McCunn shot himself in the head. His body was found in February 1982.^[88]
1981: Boris Sagal, a film director, died while shooting the TV miniseries World War III when he walked into the tail rotor blade of a helicopter and was decapitated. ^[89]
1981: Jeff Dailey, a 19-year-old gamer, became the first known person to die while playing video games. After achieving a score of 16,660 in the arcade game Berzerk, he succumbed to a massive heart attack. A year later, an 18-year-old gamer died after achieving high scores in the same game.^[90]
1981: Kenji Urada - Was killed by a malfunctioning robot he was working on at a Kawasaki plant in Japan. The robot's arm pushed him into a grinding machine, killing him.^[91]
1982: Vic Morrow, actor, was decapitated by a helicopter blade during filming of Twilight Zone: The Movie. Two child actors, Myca Dinh Le (who was decapitated) and Renee Shin-Yi Chen (who was crushed), also died.^[92]
1982: Vladimir Smirnov, an Olympic champion fencer, died of brain damage nine days after his opponent's foil snapped during a match, penetrated his mask, pierced his eyeball and entered his brain.^[93]

1983: Richard Wertheim, a linesman at the boys' singles finals in the US open, was struck by a ball hit by a young Stefan Edberg. He toppled backwards off his chair fracturing his skull as he hit the ground. ^[94]
1983: Four divers and a tender were killed on the Byford Dolphin semi-submersible, when a decompression chamber explosively decompressed from 9 atm to 1 atm in a fraction of a second. The diver nearest the chamber opening literally exploded just before his remains were ejected through a 24in (60cm) opening. The other divers' remains showed signs of boiled blood, unusually strong rigor mortis, large amounts of gas in the blood vessels, and scattered hemorrhages in the soft tissues.^[95]
1983: Sergei Chalibashvili, a professional diver, died after a diving accident during the 1983 Summer Universiade in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. When he attempted a three-and-a-half reverse somersault in the tuck position from the ten meter platform, he smashed his head on the platform and was knocked unconscious. He died after being in a coma for a week.^[96]
1983: Author Tennessee Williams died when he choked on an eyedrop bottle cap in his room at the Hotel Elysee in New York. He would routinely place the cap in his mouth, lean back, and place his eyedrops in each eye. Williams' lack of gag response may have been due to the effects of drugs and alcohol abuse.^[97]
1984: Jon-Erik Hexum, an American television actor, died after he shot himself in the head with a prop gun during a break in filming, playing Russian Roulette using a revolver loaded with a single blank cartridge . Hexum apparently was not informed that blanks too have gun powder that explodes into gas with enough force to cause severe injury or death if the weapon is fired as contact shot. This is the principle which gives a powerhead its lethality.
1987: Budd Dwyer, the State Treasurer of Pennsylvania, committed suicide during a televised press conference in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. Facing a potential 55-year jail sentence for alleged involvement in a conspiracy, Dwyer shot himself in the mouth with a revolver.
1992: Christopher McCandless died of starvation near Denali National Park after a few months trying to live off the land in the Alaskan wilderness. His life and death were researched by Jon Krakauer, who then wrote the novel Into the Wild which was later turned into a movie.
1993: Brandon Lee, son of Bruce Lee, was shot and killed by Michael Massee using a prop .44 Magnum gun while filming the movie The Crow. A cartridge with only a primer and a bullet was fired in the pistol prior to the fatal scene; this caused a squib load, in which the primer provided enough force to push the bullet out of the cartridge and into the barrel of the revolver, where it became stuck. The malfunction went unnoticed by the crew, and the same gun was used again later to shoot the death scene. His death was not instantly recognized by the crew or other actors; they believed he was still acting.^[98]
1993: Garry Hoy, a Toronto lawyer, fell to his death after he threw himself through the glass wall on the 24th floor of the Toronto-Dominion Centre in order to prove the glass was unbreakable. The pane didn't break, but instead popped out of its frame.^[99]
1993: Michael A. Shingledecker Jr. was killed almost instantly when he and a friend were struck by a pickup truck while lying flat on the yellow dividing line of a two-lane highway in Polk, Pennsylvania. They were copying a daredevil stunt from the movie The Program. Marco Birkhimer died of a similar accident while performing the same stunt in Route 206 of Bordentown, New Jersey. ^[100]
1994: Gloria Ramirez was admitted to Riverside General Hospital for complications of advanced cervical cancer. Before she died, her body mysteriously emitted toxic fumes that made several emergency room workers very ill. She has been dubbed as the "toxic lady" by the media. ^[101]
1996: Sharon Lopatka, an Internet entrepreneur from Maryland, allegedly solicited a man via the Internet to torture and kill her for the purpose of sexual gratification. Her killer, Robert Fredrick Glass, was convicted of voluntary manslaughter for the homicide.
1998: Tom and Eileen Lonergan were stranded while scuba diving with a group of divers off Australia's Great Barrier Reef. The group's boat accidentally abandoned them due to an incorrect head count taken by the dive boat crew. Their bodies were never recovered. The incident inspired the film Open Water and an episode of 20/20.^[102]
1998: Daniel V. Jones committed suicide on a freeway carpool lane near Los Angeles, California by shooting himself through the chin with a shotgun, which was accidentally televised by journalists monitoring the incident on helicopters. Jones, a former hotel maintenance worker, had killed himself partly due to his frustration over treatment by his HMO.^[103]
1998: Every player on the visiting soccer team at a game in the Democratic Republic of the Congo was struck by a fork bolt of lightning, killing them all instantly.^[104]
1999: Owen Hart, a professional wrestler for WWF, died during a pay-per-view event when performing a stunt. It was planned to have Owen come down from the rafters of Kemper Arena on a safety harness tied to a rope to make his ring entrance. The safety latch was released and Owen dropped 78 feet, bouncing chest-first off the top rope resulting in a severed aorta, which caused his lungs to fill with blood.^[105]
2000: Jonathan Burton stormed the cockpit door of a Southwest Airlines flight from Las Vegas to Salt Lake City. The 19-year-old was subdued by eight other passengers with such force that he died of asphyxiation.^[106]

[edit] 21st century

2001: Bernd-Jürgen Brandes from Germany was voluntarily stabbed repeatedly and then partly eaten by Armin Meiwes (who was later called the Cannibal of Rothenburg). Brandes had answered an internet advertisement by Meiwes looking for someone for this purpose. Brandes explicitly stated in his will that he wished to be killed and eaten.^[107]
2001: Gregory Biggs, a homeless man in Fort Worth, Texas, was struck by a car being driven by Chante Jawan Mallard, who had been drinking and taking drugs that night. Biggs' torso became lodged in Mallard's windshield with severe but not immediately fatal injuries. Mallard drove home and left the car in her garage with Biggs still lodged in her car's windshield. She repeatedly visited Biggs and even apologized for hitting him. Biggs died of his injuries several hours later.^[108]Chante Mallard was tried and convicted for murder in this case and received a 50 year prison sentence. The film Stuck is loosely based on this unusual death.^[109]
2002: Brittanie Cecil, an American 13-year-old hockey fan, died two days after being struck in the head by a hockey puck at a game between the Columbus Blue Jackets and the Calgary Flames at Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. ^[110]
2003: Doug McKay was killed at the Island county fair amusement park when his arm was caught as he sprayed lubricant on a Super Loop 2 circular roller coaster. The ride was in operation at the time and he was pulled 40 feet in the air before falling and landing on a fence.^[111]
2003: Brian Douglas Wells, a pizza delivery man in Erie, Pennsylvania, was killed by a time bomb that was fastened around his neck. He was apprehended by the police after robbing a bank, and claimed he had been forced to do it by three people who had put the bomb around his neck and would kill him if he refused. The bomb later exploded, killing him. In 2007, police alleged Wells was involved in the robbery plot along with two other conspirators.^[112]
2003: Brandon Vedas died of a drug overdose while engaged in an Internet chat, as shown on his webcam.^[113]
2003: Timothy Treadwell, an American environmentalist who had lived in the wilderness among bears for thirteen summers in a remote region in Alaska, and his girlfriend Amie Huguenard were killed and partially consumed by a bear. An audio recording of their deaths was captured on a video camera which had been turned on at the beginning of the incident. Werner Herzog's documentary film, Grizzly Man, discusses Treadwell and his death, including the audio clip.^[114]
2005: Kenneth Pinyan ('Mr. Hands') of Gig Harbor, Washington died of acute peritonitis after seeking out and receiving anal intercourse from a stallion, an act he had engaged in previously. Pinyan delayed his visit to the hospital for several hours out of reluctance to explain the circumstances of his injury to doctors. The case led to the criminalization of bestiality in Washington.^[115] His story was recounted in the award winning 2007 documentary film Zoo.
2005: Lee Seung Seop, a 28-year-old South Korean, collapsed of fatigue and died after playing the online videogame StarCraft for almost 50 consecutive hours in an Internet cafe.^[116]
2006: Steve Irwin, a television personality and naturalist known as The Crocodile Hunter, died when his heart was impaled by a short-tail stingray barb while filming a documentary entitled "Ocean's Deadliest" in Queensland's Great Barrier Reef. ^[117]
2006: Alexander Litvinenko, a former officer of the Russian State security service, and later a Russian dissident and writer, suddenly fell ill and was hospitalized in London. He died three weeks later, becoming the first known victim of lethal polonium-210-induced acute radiation syndrome.
2007: Jennifer Strange, a 28-year-old woman from Sacramento, died of water intoxication while trying to win a Wii console in a KDND 107.9 "The End" radio station's "Hold Your Wee for a Wii" contest, which involved drinking large quantities of water without urinating.^[118]^[119]
2007: Kevin Whitrick, a 42-year-old man, committed suicide by hanging himself live on a webcam during an internet chat session.^[120]
2007: Surinder Singh Bajwa, the Deputy Mayor of Delhi, India, was kicked by a Rhesus Macaque monkey at his home and fell from a first floor balcony, suffering serious head injuries. He later died from his injuries.^[121]
2008: Abigail Taylor, age 6, died nine months after several of her internal organs were partially sucked out of her lower body while she sat on an excessively powerful swimming pool drain. Surgery following the incident returned the organs to the inside of her body, however she still died due to the incident. ^[122]
2008: Gerald Mellin, a U.K. businessman, committed suicide by tying one end of a rope around his neck and the other to a tree. He then hopped into his Aston Martin DB7 and drove down a main road in Swansea until the rope decapitated him. He supposedly did this as an act of revenge against his ex-wife for leaving him.^[123]
2008: David Phyall, 50, the last resident in a block of flats due to be demolished in Bishopstoke, near Southampton, Hampshire, UK, cut his own head off with a chainsaw to highlight the 'injustice' of being asked to move out.^[124]

GOODBYE WOOLWORTHS

2009-01-12T20:07:00.001-03:00

THIS IS BRILLIANT....

2009-01-12T19:31:00.001-03:00

Ten Thousand Pictures of You from Robin King on Vimeo.

Thanks to www.b3ta.com/links/Ten_Thousand_Pictures_of_You

50 THINGS WE DIDN'T KNOW BEFORE 2008

2009-01-06T02:04:00.000-03:00

By JEFF HOUCK | The Tampa Tribune

Published: December 22, 2008

MEMORY TEST

2009-01-06T01:12:00.003-03:00

Short Memory Test

Have a go at this

Try and get past Level three

Buggered if I can

Maybe next week when my brain is active again

neutralx0.net/home/mini04.html

Thanks to Phil

QUICKIES

2009-01-06T00:59:00.002-03:00

My gran's one of those people who thinks a cup of tea is the answer to everything.
And the daft bat still wonders why she didn't get past the first round of Mastermind.

I sometimes get my guitar out on the bus and have a little sing-along.
It's great fun, but my passengers shit themselves.

A ginger kid got knocked down by a lorry outside my house today. Just think - that could've been me. But I can't drive a lorry.

The school said my son is really clever and could end up being a scientist!
I wonder where he gets that from? I'll ask the milkman - he's in Mensa and has been on Mastermind.

A ginger bloke at work fell into the industrial meat mincer this week.Took us fucking ages to find the on switch.

I'm sick of people knocking on my door, begging.
There's just been a woman asking for donations for a sperm bank........so I gave her a right fucking mouthful.

I got hit by a car yesterday.
The driver came over and said, "What's your name, so I can call and tell your mum and dad?"
"That’s a waste of time” I said, "They already know my name".

My grandma passed away on Christmas Eve.
In her will, she stipulated that she wanted to be buried with all of her favourite possessions.
You should have seen the look on the cat's face, when they were nailing the coffin lid down.

My girlfriend was telling me that black men's cocks taste like cabbage. Then I thought- how would she know that? The fat bitch has never eaten cabbage in her life.

I didn’t know my wife was a gymnast. But you should see how she flipped when she found out I was fucking her sister.

A gay guy walks into a bar and sees a mate of his. He says to him really loudly 'How's your arse today?'
The second guy is embarassed and says 'Shut up!'
So the first guy says 'So's mine, it must be the cold weather'.

My wife said that I don't know my arse from my elbow.
But she was wrong, as I clearly demonstrated that my arse, couldn’t knock three of her teeth out.

I bought myself a new stick of roll on deodorant today. Instructions said 'Take off top and push up bottom'……..Five fucking hours I spent in casualty!

SEE DICK RUN

2009-01-05T23:42:00.002-03:00

Can you remember your
first grade reading material?

See Dick!
See Dick run!!

No, not this one...

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this one...
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TRUE LOVE!!

2009-01-05T23:26:00.002-03:00

This 80 year old woman was arrested for

shop lifting.

When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her,

"What did you steal?"

She replied,

"A can of peaches."

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches

and she replied that she was hungry.

The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

She replied 6.

The judge then said,

"I will then give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment,

the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said,

"What is it?"

The husband said,

"She also stole a can of peas."

THINGS YOU DON'T SAY TO YOUR WIFE

2009-01-05T23:09:00.001-03:00

Tim Hawkins ( a very funny guy)

HISTORY IN THE MAKING....

2009-01-05T23:00:00.002-03:00

In a few short days, an African American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count or blessings - because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible.

Many believed this day would never come. Most of us hoped and prayed that it would, but few of us actually believed we would live to see it. Racism is an ugly thing in all of it's forms and there is little doubt that if this man had moved into this house fifteen years ago, there would have been a great outcry - possibly even rioting in the streets. Today, we can all be both grateful and proud that no such mayhem will take place.when this man takes up residency in this house.

This man, moving into this house at this time in our nation's history is much more than a simple change of addresses for him - it is proof of a change in our attitude as a nation. It is an amends of sorts - the righting of a great wrong. It is a symbol of our growth, and of our willingness to "judge a man, not by the color of his skin but by the content of his character". There can be little doubt now that the vast majority of us truly believe that this man has earned both his place in history and his new address.

His time in this house will not be easy - it will be fraught with danger and he will face many challenges. I am sure there will be many times when he asks himself how in the world he ended up here and like all who have gone before him, the experience will age him greatly. But I for one will not waste an ounce of worry for his sake - because in every way a man can, he asked for this.

His whole life for the past fifteen years appears to have been inexorably leading this man toward this house. It is highly probable that that in the past, despite all of his actions, racism would have kept this man out of this house. Today, I thank the Lord above that I am an American and that I live in a nation where wrongs are righted, where justice matters and where truly anything is possible.

Who is this man, you ask...

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THANKS TO comedyplus.blogspot.com/

STATISTICS FOR THE LAST THREE SEASONS

2009-01-04T23:34:00.001-03:00

As we head into an exciting 2009, it's good to look back at this year and with the help of some numbers and figures, we can see to it ourselves how Rafa Benitez have brought Liverpool from strength to strength.

This figures are compiled by a blogger from Oh You Beauty so do drop by and give him some credit.

Points total after 19 games:
08/09: 42
07/08: 37
06/07: 34

Results over 19 games:
08/09: 12 wins, 6 draws, 1 loss
07/08: 10 wins, 7 draws, 2 losses
06/07: 10 wins, 4 draws, 5 losses

League position after 19 games:
08/09:1st place
07/08: 4th place
06/07: 3rd place

# of points behind 1st place:
08/09: +1
07/08: -10, with a game in hand
06/07: -13

Goals scored after 19 games:
08/09: 30
07/08: 33
06/07: 28

Goals against after 19 games:
08/09: 12
07/08: 12
06/07: 15

Home Goals:
08/09: 16
07/08: 20
06/07: 20

Away Goals:
08/09: 14
07/08: 13
06/07: 8

Goal scorers:
08/09: Gerrard 6; Keane, Kuyt, Torres 5; Alonso, Riera 2; Arbeloa, Benayoun, Babel, Carragher 1
07/08: Torres 9; Gerrard 7; Babel, Kuyt, Voronin 3; Alonso, Benayoun 2; Hyypia, Sissoko 1
06/07: Kuyt 6; Bellamy 5; Alonso, Gerrard 3; Crouch, Garcia, Gonzalez 2; Agger, Carragher, Fowler, Riise 1

Clean Sheets:
08/09: 11
07/08: 10
06/07: 10

# of games Liverpool failed to score in:
08/09: 4 [Villa (a), Stoke (h), Fulham (h), West Ham (h)]
07/08: 5 [Pompey (a), Birmingham (h), Blackburn (a), United (h), City (a)]
06/07: 7 [Everton (a), Chelsea (a), Bolton (a), United (a), Arsenal (a), Boro (a), Portsmouth (h)]

Away form:
08/09: 6 wins, 2 draws, 1 loss; 20 points out of 27
07/08: 6 wins, 3 draws, 1 loss; 21 points out of 30
06/07: 2 wins, 2 draws, 5 losses; 8 points out of 27

Home form:
08/09: 6 wins, 4 draws; 22 points out of 30
07/08: 4 wins, 4 draws, 1 loss; 16 points out of 27
06/07: 8 wins, 2 draws; 26 points out of 30

Pretty good showing, isn't it? Well, let's hope that 2009 will be even better, getting our number 19 in the bag and on towards 20th! Happy New Year, guys. And thanks for the support you've given through the years. I'm eternally grateful.

thanks to Red Cauldron

The Best 'Big Pictures' Of 2008

2009-01-04T22:49:00.004-03:00

CLICK EACH PICTURE BELOW TO SEE THE BEST PICTURES OF THE YEAR

KIDS LOVE SANTA....

2008-12-15T00:26:00.006-03:00

TWO STUPID IDIOTS...

2008-12-15T00:19:00.001-03:00

If you think the first guy is an idiot for letting a girl kick him in the face, that's nothing to what happens to his mate afterwards.

DON'T GO TO CHATANOOGA IF YOU USE PROSTITUTES

2008-12-08T01:30:00.006-03:00

These photos are from a recent bust of a prostitution ring in Chattanooga. I have to admit, these are some of the loveliest women I have ever seen. "not"

What really gets me is, Chattanoogans actually PAID to have sex with these women?!

Check out the entire gallery of hotties below: each one more handsome than the last.

THEN CLICK HERE FOR ALL THE PICTURES thejebbica.com/humor/you-mean-people-actually-paid-to-have-sex-with-these-women/

ACTIVI-TEA

2008-12-08T00:49:00.003-03:00

TBWA was comissioned to come up with a lovely little packaging number for a hip & healthy restaurant chains in-house teabags. Each one has a different sporting activity hanging off the string, lovely idea!

REMEMBER THIS....

2008-12-08T00:24:00.000-03:00

MOUNT RUSHMORE FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE

2008-12-07T18:47:00.002-03:00

FROM THE FRONT

......AND FROM BEHIND

WORLDS BEST BRICKIES LABOURER...

2008-12-04T19:38:00.000-03:00

thanks to Phil

THAT'S RACIST

2008-12-03T02:57:00.004-03:00

My Girlfriend wants a white wedding. That's fine by me…..

I didn't want to invite any Blacks or Pakis anyway.

At question time, the new Barack Obama was asked

what he intended to do about defense.

He replied "I'm going to paint it de same colour as de house".

Police are warning people to be on the lookout for

Muslim suicide bombers over Christmas who are set to launch a wave of terror

with a new 'Alphabet Bomb'.
If one of them fuckers goes off, it could spell disaster.

When I was younger, I always had my suspicions that I was adopted.

When I got to fifteen years old, I turned to my father and said, "Dad, am I adopted?"
And he replied, "Ho chan po wang tong".

Apparently, no Indians have actually been killed in the terrorist attacks in Mumbai...

Police said they were all found safe and sound, hiding…..In Luton.

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. T

hey imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs

and they're going to drill for their own oil.

History was made in America last night as Barrack Obama

broke a long tradition and became the first black man to enter

The Whitehouse without a mop and bucket!!

Did you hear about the Chinese Magican who did magic with Chocolate?
He had loads of Twix up his sleeve.

An Aboriginal comes home from Centrelink one day and says to his missus

"Love, I got a job today and so to celebrate,

I'm gonna stick my prize possession where you piss!".

She replies "You’re sticking your thongs in the sink?"

What's white on top and black on bottom?
Society.

Have you seen the new 'K' necklace that

Brook Kinsella has brought out to help stop knife crime?
I bought 3, wore them all and got stabbed

by the first black guy that saw me.

TIME TO START MY DIET

2008-12-03T02:45:00.001-03:00

PARTIAL FACE TRANSPLANTS WITH MR. BEAN

2008-12-03T02:11:00.005-03:00

sandra bullock

tom cruise

antonio banderas

hilary clinton

GREAT GIFT FOR YOUR BLONDE GIRLFRIEND

2008-12-03T01:56:00.002-03:00

Hit the link below

www.keyboardforblondes.com

ADVICE FOR VISITORS TO CANADA

2008-12-03T01:44:00.001-03:00

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear encounters, the Canadian Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, backpackers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears.

We advise outdoorsmen to wear noisy little bells on their clothing so that the bears are not startled unexpectedly by a human's presence. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear.

It is also a good idea to watch for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear poop and grizzly bear poop.

Black bear poop is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop smells like pepper and has little bells in it.

TOILET HUMOUR

2008-12-03T01:42:00.000-03:00

WOMEN DRIVERS

2008-12-01T22:57:00.001-03:00

PUBS AROUND MELBOURNE

2008-11-28T00:22:00.003-03:00

CLICK THE LINK BELOW

www.sloshspot.com/countries/AU-Australia/Melbourne

GIFS OF THE WEEK

2008-11-27T23:53:00.002-03:00

JOKES OF THE WEEK

2008-11-27T23:48:00.000-03:00

A middle aged woman went to a Wal-Mart service counter and tells the clerk she wants a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on "special clearance."
Suddenly, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!!" The befuddled clerk runs away to get the store manager in front of a growing crowd of customers.
The manager goes to the woman and asks, "Ma'am what's wrong?" She explained the problem with the toaster, and HE tells her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on "special clearance." Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and starts screaming, "PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES! PINCH MY NIPPLES!" And doing so draws an even bigger crowd.
In shock, the store manager pleads, "Ma'am, why are you saying that? The woman simply says, "Because, I like to have my nipples pinched when I'm getting screwed!" The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded.

The sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure.
As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you dressed like this?
The Cowboy says, "Well it's like this, sheriff .. I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.
We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt....so I did.
Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants ... so I did.
Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts....so I did.
Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says, "Now go to town, cowboy...."
And here I am.

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful.'"

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of sex with his wife.
Johnny's father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it, bent over as if to look under the bed.
Little Johnny asked curiously "What ya doin dad?"
His father quickly replied, "I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed,
to which Little Johnny replied "What ya gonna do, fuck him?"

A man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution.
When he gets there, he discovers the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
The female doctor says, 'I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to.
I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say, '99'.
The guy obeys and says, '99'.
The doctor says, 'Great. Now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say, '99.
'Again, the guy says, '99.'
The doctor said, 'Very good. Now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly.
I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say, '99.'
The guy begins, 'One .. Two ..... Three'.

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth.
He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc.
So he asked his class,
"Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raised his hand and said,
"He's in heaven."
Mary was called on and answered,
"He's in my heart."
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out,
"I know! ! I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher and waited for a response.
The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds.
Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny said,
"Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells,
"Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!"

TRUE LOVE... HELPING TO TEST BULLET PROOF GLASS

2008-11-27T22:02:00.002-03:00

DANGEROUS GANGS

2008-11-27T21:51:00.002-03:00

The word gang has taken on many meanings throughout the years. Originally, the word was just used to express a group or band of people. You probably have heard someone talk about the local gang of boys or something of that sort. In older times, the word gang didn’t have such the negative tone that comes along with it today. As time has gone on, the word gang has grown to be a word that many worry about when they hear it. It seems a “gang” has evolved from just being a group of people to a group of people that associate for some criminal or other antisocial purpose.

Depending on where you live, you have probably heard about gang crimes. If you don’t live too close to a big city, it is sure that you have read or watched the news and heard about some sort of gang activity. Gangs exist all over the world, not just in your own country. Here are the top 10 of the most dangerous gangs that you definitely don’t want to come into contact with.

Aryan Brotherhood (AB, The Brand)

Another jailhouse gang for you. Even though they are not one of the biggest prison gangs, the Aryan Brotherhood is known to have murdered many prisoners in jail. The gang only makes up about 1% of prison populations, but size doesn’t matter to the AB. In fact, this gang is known for at least 26% of the murders that occur in prisons around the U.S. The AB is split into two groups, usually those in federal prisons and other members that are located in some of the smaller state prisons, especially those in California. In order to join the Aryan Brotherhood, one has to kill or assault another prisoner. This is known as blood in, blood out. Any who try to leave the gang are generally assaulted or murdered by a member. The AB is known for organized crime, extortion, inmate prostitution, drug trafficking, and murder-for-hire.

Mexican Mafia (La eMe)

The Mexican Mafia is a gang that has its strongholds in many prisons throughout the U.S. The gang was started in the 1950s in Tracy California. La eMe is well known for its drug trafficking, extortion, and murder. Closely knit with the Aryan Brotherhood, La eMe has made many contracts with ally gangs in order to kill other gang members from rivals. The gang doesn’t have many rules for its members: no exposing the gang, no homosexual acts, and no cowardice. Mexican Mafia gang members also cannot practice the Christian religion. Once your join the Mexican Mafia and are released from jail, members are expected to send some of their earnings to those lead gang members who are still in jail. The gang isn’t known to kill random civilians.

The Mungiki (Kenyan Mafia)

This gang isn’t one that you’ll find in the U.S. The Mungiki is mostly found in poor parts of Kenya, especially Nairobi, which is one of Kenya’s largest cities. The gang was formed during the 1980s and has since grown, but not much. The gang is known to work in “cells,” each of them consisting of about 50 members that get involved with racketeering. The Mungiki are extremely against Christianity as well as any type of Westernization. The gang believes in forced female genital cutting, beheading, and mutilation. As many as 50 people have been killed because of clashes with the Mungiki, two of these people being Kenyan police offers who were beheaded. The gang is said to have some ties in the U.S., but this has never been concretely proven.

Primeiro Comando da Capital (PCC)

A Brazilian gang, Primeiro Comando da Capital comes in at #7. This gang is one of the newest Brazilian prison gangs to be formed. Founded in 1993 by eight prisoners, PCC is one of the smallest prison gangs around today. Primeiro Comando da Capital is extremely against government establishments like police stations, justice forums, and even buses. Since the middle of 2006, the gang is known to have carried out about 300 attacks, all of them being against public establishments. The gang is mostly funded by its members. All members have to pay a monthly fee to be in the gang, which is about $27 if the member is in jail, and $270 if the member is out of a prison. Most of the money is used to buy weapons as well as drugs. Some of the money is put towards bailing out members. In order to become part of the Primeiro Comando da Capital, you have to be introduced by a regular member of the gang. An oath must also be accepted.

Black Guerrilla Family (Black Family, Black Vanguard)

Founded in 1966 by a man named George Jackson, located in Marin County, California, the Black Guerrilla family is one of the many gangs that is associated with the African-American race. The gang was established in order to maintain Black dignity in prison as well as planning to overthrow the U.S. government. Standing as one of the most politically influenced gangs, the Black Guerrilla Family has very strong emotions towards Marxism. Today, the Black Family has about 50,000 gang members, many of which who are associated with other gangs. In order to join the gang, one must be black, and must be nominated by an already existing member. Recently it has been said that the gang is experiencing internal conflicts between old and new members.

La Nuestra Familia

La Nuestra Familia is a Mexican American prison gang that originated in Northern California. The gang has been around since 1968 and has always been a rival of the Mexican Mafia. Many speculate that the gang was created just to deliver a blow to their rival gang. The gang puts a high focus on protecting as well as preserving the Chicano culture, especially while living in a society that is dominated by so many different races. La Nuestra Familia is known to control intra-prison drug and sex trades. From the prison, high-up gang members call to those outside of the prison to prefer hits. The gang is known to kill anyone, sometimes members of the gang. Members of La Nuestra Familia are known to be serious criminals because the gang requires a two year time period to join. La Nuestra Familia requires that all gang members put the gang above family, money, drugs, and women. Women cannot join the gang but are sometimes used for running drugs.

Texas Syndicate (Texas 7)

Texas Syndicate is a California State Prison gang that was created in response to other Californian gangs like the Mexican Mafia and the Aryan Brotherhood. Because these gangs were preying on inmates, especially those in Texas, prisoners saw a need to have a rival gang to protect these Texas prisoners as a means for self-protection. The Texas 7 doesn’t allow any members that are outside of the Hispanic race. Caucasian members are extremely frowned upon. The gang is made up generally of Mexican immigrant prisoners, not Mexicans who were born and raised in the U.S. In 2000, the gang was said to have about 1,000 members in jail, and about 830 outside of jail. Texas Syndicate is known for contract murder, gambling, prostitution, extortion, and drug trafficking. Many of the gang’s leaders are imprisoned due to drug charges.

Crips

The Crips was started in 1969 by a 16-year-olds Stanley Williams and Raymond Washington. The two started the gang as a playoff of the Black Panthers. The gang started off small and was a loosely connected network of individual gangs. Since its origination, the gang has grown to be one of the largest as well as one of the most powerful gangs that exist in the U.S. Today, the gang is said to have over 300,000 gang members both inside and outside of jail. The Crips are known for wearing the color blue. The gang is known to carry out murders, robberies, as well as drug deals. The Crips are extremely bitter rivals towards the Bloods as well as many different Hispanic street gangs. The gang is known to be extremely violent and sometimes brawls and fights explode within the gang, which usually end up in deaths of Crips members. While fighting other gangs, the Crips also fights against itself. This gang is so big that it has even spread to other countries like Canada.

Bloods

The Bloods is a Los Angeles based gang that is known mainly for its rivalry with the Crips as well as for wearing the color red. The gang started in 1972 and grew slowly by taking over territory that was controlled by other L.A. street gangs. Because the Bloods were so fearless, many of the gang members that they encountered decided to band together and join the Bloods. The gang is separated into “sets,” which have their own tactics, especially when it comes to recruiting. The gang overall is known to recruit members through those who volunteer while the Bloods’ sets are known to send threats to people to join the gang. Bloods members often combine with other gangs in order to carry out criminal activity, especially drug trafficking.

Mara Salvatrucha (MS-13)

Mara Salvatrucha makes all of these other gangs seem like foolish people selling drugs. MS-13 is in fact the deadliest gang that anyone will ever come into contact with. The gang mainly consists of Guatemalans, Hondurans, Salvadorans, and other Central Americans and was started in the 1980s to protect immigrants from other big gangs. The gang has been able to spread beyond Central America into Spain, U.S., Great Britain, Germany, and even Canada. MS-13 is well known for drug smuggling, black market gun sales, theft, contract killing, human trafficking, and assault, especially on law enforcement. In the U.S. alone, the gang has 10,000 members. This gang has no remorse for killing anyone. Mara Salvatrucha is known for hunting down and killing anyone who speaks to law enforcement about the gang. MS-13 is known for its extremely violent crimes, especially against innocents. The gang has gone as far to set a bus full of children and women on fire which ended in 28 deaths.

THE WORLDS BEST THROW IN

2008-11-23T23:59:00.000-03:00

BERNIE ECCLESTONES WIFE WANTS TWO MIDGETS

2008-11-23T23:42:00.003-03:00

THE soon-to-be ex-wife of Formula One tycoon Bernie Ecclestone has vowed to buy a taller husband or two midgets that can be bolted together.

Slavica Ecclestone is expected to receive enough money in her divorce settlement to buy any man, or combination of men, that she wants.

She said last night: "When I was a young girl my idea of the perfect husband was a man who was suave, sophisticated, about six foot tall and had a billion pounds.

"But unfortunately at the age of 26 I found myself in the position where I had to choose between a man who was nine foot tall but skint and a three foot midget with two billion pounds.

"I chose Bernie Ecclestone."

She added: "We had many happy years but there's only so long you can be a climbing frame for a monkey. Even a very, very rich monkey.

"But soon I will have the money and I can choose. I suppose the easy thing would be to have one very large husband but I really like the idea of two midgets in a boiler suit.

"Then they can take it in turns to be the one on top. It'll keeps things fresh."

thanks to the daily mash

PICS OF THE WEEK

2008-11-23T23:30:00.005-03:00

WHAT I WOULD DO IF........

2008-11-23T21:15:00.002-03:00

CLICK PICTURE TO ENLARGE

IDIOT OF THE WEEK

2008-11-23T20:55:00.001-03:00

I GOT MY FIRST CHRISTMAS CARD TODAY

2008-11-23T20:53:00.001-03:00

thanks to Mike Molloy

TEVEZ'S MUM VISITS HIM AT UNITED

2008-11-23T20:51:00.000-03:00

thanks to Mike Molloy

RELIGION CARD GAME

2008-11-23T20:26:00.010-03:00

CLICK TO ENLARGE

TODAY'S QUICKIES

2008-11-23T20:15:00.002-03:00

I went to the doctors for a check up and he asked me how I was sleeping.
"Like a baby," I said.
"Good," he replied.
I disagreed. "Waking up every four hours lying in my own piss and shit screaming the house down is not good."

When Madonna first came to England she said she wanted to be more English; she's now an unmarried mother with three kids and one of them is black, how much more English can one get?

Stephen Hawking is in intensive care with 2 broken legs, a dislocated shoulder and a shattered hip apparently, he went on a date last night and she stood him up!!!!

Latest news about the woman with a Hoover nozzle jammed up her fanny, the doctors said although she is still in intensive care she is picking up nicely!!

Do you like Wayne Rooney's new haircut? Apparantly it happened as a result of a misunderstanding when Playboy Magazine offered Colleen £100,000 to shave her twat.

I went to the midget Olympics in Birmingham last week, my friends think it's sad, that small people should compete against other small people for gold medals….

I personally don't think there's anything wrong with a little competition.

A Scottish woman walks into her bedroom & finds her husband simulating sex with his wellie.
"Hamish!" she shouts
"You dirty bastard...Stop fucking aboot!"

I work in a paperless office. I thought it would be great until I went for a shit...

Only in America would they combine a department Alcohol, Tobacco and firearms. I phoned them up and said “what wine do you recommend I drink, when I go shooting my M16 semi- automatic.

THE NORTY ONE RETURNS

2008-11-23T20:09:00.002-03:00

Hi Guys,

Well after a great trip through Alaska, Canada and California, I'm back with an inbox bursting with goodies.

So stand by for a lot of great new stuff coming to a screen near you very soon.

The Story of Adam & Eve's Pets

2008-08-07T03:00:00.003-03:00

Adam and Eve said, 'Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us.'

And God said, I will create a companion for you that will be with you and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are an d will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves.'

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve.
And it was a good animal
And God was pleased.

And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail .

And Adam said, 'Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal.'

And God said, 'I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG.'

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them.

And they were comforted
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord a nd said, 'Lord, Adam and Eve have becom e filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well.'

And God said, I will create for them a companion who will be with them and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration.'

And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.

And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.

And Adam and Eve learned humility.

And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased . . . .

And Dog was happy. . . .

And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other....

NEARLY TIME FOR THE OLYMPICS

2008-07-30T22:17:00.002-03:00

PILOBOLUS

2008-07-30T22:03:00.000-03:00

LETTER TO DEVON POLICE

2008-07-30T20:02:00.000-03:00

This is (allegedly) a genuine complaint to Devon & Cornwall Police Force from an angry member of the public. Lengthy but brilliantly written.....

Dear Sir/madam/automated telephone answering service,

Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Bodmin police station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this message on to your colleagues in Bodmin, by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board.

As I'm writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments (I think you call them youths) in St Mary's Crescent, which is just off St Mary's Road in Bodmin. Six of them seem happy enough to play a game which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of a meteorite.

This causes an earth shattering CLANG! which rings throughout the entire building. This game is now in its third week and as I am unsure how the scoring system works, I have no idea if it will end any time soon. The remaining five walking abortions are happily rummaging through several bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully dumped beside the wheelie bins.

One of them has found a saw and is setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on speed. I fear that it's only a matter of time before they turn their limited attention to the bottle of calor gas that is lying on its side between the two bins. If they could be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches. Unfortunately they are far more likely to blow up half the street with them and I've just finished decorating the kitchen.

What I suggest is this - after replying to this e-mail with worthless assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with, why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a panda car before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of course serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.

I trust that when I take a claw hammer to the skull of one of these throwbacks you'll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head start before coming to arrest me.

I remain sir, your obedient servant
???????

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Mr ??????,

I have read your e-mail and understand you frustration at the problems caused by youth playing in the area and the problems you have encountered in trying to contact the police. As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an offer of discussing the matter fully with you.

Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details (address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.

Regards

PC ?
Community Beat Officer

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear PC ?

First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my original e-mail. 16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for Bodmin Police station, and rest assured that I will forward these details to Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next book.

Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has its own community beat officer.

May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert skills? In the five or so years I have lived in St Mary's Crescent , I have never seen you. Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand basin? It's surely only a matter of time before you are head-hunted by MI5.

Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place in Bodmin, such as smoking in a public place or being Muslim without due care and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using words of no more than two syllables at a time) to these twats that they might want to play their strange football game elsewhere. The pitch on Fairpark Road , or the one at Priory Park are both within spitting distance as is the bottom of the Par Dock.

Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to contact me on If after 25 minutes I have still failed to answer, I'll buy you a large one in the Cat and Fiddle Pub.

Regards
?

P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you don't work for the cleansing department, with whom I am also in contact!!

KIDS!!!!

2008-07-30T02:52:00.000-03:00

ANOTHER BRILLIANT BEER AD

2008-07-30T00:58:00.001-03:00

10 ways to tell if your Amish kid is headed for trouble

2008-07-29T19:05:00.001-03:00

Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 am.
In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
Shows up at barn raisings in full “Kiss” makeup.
When you criticize him, he yells, “Thou sucketh!”
His name is Jebediah, but he goes by “Jeb Daddy.”
Defiantly says, “If I had a radio, I’d listen to rap.”
You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.
Uses slang expression: “Talk to the hand, ’cause the beard ain’t listening.”
Was recently pulled over for “driving under the influence of cottage cheese.”
He’s wearing his big black hat backwards.

The fighting philosophy of Bill Shankly

2008-07-28T19:01:00.001-03:00

The fighting philosophy of Bill Shankly

In an article from December 17 1968, now republished in The Guardian book of football, Eric Todd talks to the legendary Liverpool manager - a players' man who has always been 'daft about fitba'

Like the state of holy matrimony, an interview with Bill Shankly, manager of Liverpool, is not to be entered lightly. There is an element of chance about them both; in neither is the course of events predictable. Shankly has to be heard to be appreciated. Like Jim Sims, that much-loved slow bowler for Middlesex in years gone by, he expresses himself through the corner of his mouth. There the comparison ends. Sims favoured the confidential drawl, Shankly fires his words as if with a Gatling gun. And he does not often miss.

Thirty years have passed since my first sight of Shankly playing at Deepdale in the company of the Beatties (not related), the O'Donnells (brothers), Jimmy Milne, Jimmy Dougal and Harry Holdcroft, that most handsome of goalkeepers. Even in those days Shankly was a busy, fussy character who always played with his palms turned outwards, creating the remote illusion of a sailing ship striving for that little extra help from the wind.

"Naw, naw," protested Shankly, when I suggested that analogy. "It gave me strength. Did ye notice too that ah played on ma toes all the time? Like a ballet dancer? That gave me strength in ma calves, and ah've still got it. Preston was only a sma' place - Jim Taylor, the North End chairman, called us a village team - but it was a fine club who believed in modern methods. Ah lairned a great deal wi' Preston and ah've always tried tae pass on some o' those lessons.

"Ah was always daft about fitba'. Ah went tae Carlisle whan ah was 17 an' a half, moved tae Preston in 1933, an' finished pleyin' in 1949 when ah went tae Carlisle as their manager. They were a useful side but they hadnae a great deal o' ambition. But ah had. So when ah had the offer tae take over at Grimsby because they ware strugglin', ah went an' took less wages. Frae Grimsby ah went tae Workington, who were facin' extermination. They offered me a bonus if ah could save them. Ah got ma bonus. Then ah went as assistant tae Andy Beattie at Huddersfield an', when he left, ah took his place. Ah was made manager o' Liverpool in 1959 an' the rest you know. An' by the by, ah was never sacked in the whole o' ma life."

Shankly sipped his tea, long since cold, before he set off on a new theme. "People often ask me if ah ever made a mistake. Well, tae my mind 'mistake' is a misused word, especially in fitba'. For example, ye might say it was a mistake for a club tae buy such an' such a player but that is nae necessarily true. The player might not be able tae settle down or to fit in. He might no' suit his environment. Just bad luck. A fitballer's no' like a hat or a coat that you can leave at a shop if it doesna' fit or suit ye."

"Mind you, there are some managers ah've known who have gone about things the wrong way. The manager above all things should be solely responsible for the playing and training staffs and all tactics. He must be able tae coach and tae explain such basic things as how tae kick a ball and how tae pass it an' control it. In other words, he must know what he's talking about. What good is it tae go tae a golf professional for lessons if he disna' know the game? The same wi' a fitba' manager.

"Mind you, ah wouldna' say the best players make the best managers, although ah think that's been more the case in recent years - but a manager makes things so much harder for himself if he can't explain the game to his players. An' even that's only half the battle. Tae get the best out of his men, the manager has tae work tae a tactical plan they understand which need not necessarily be the one he'd like himself. For instance, at Liverpool we have Ian Callaghan and Peter Thompson, two of the best wingers in the game. They are as near tae the old orthodox wingers as there are, so why should they be used in any other way? It wouldn'a be fair for one thing. Natural ability is far too precious tae be messed about wi'."

"Before ah forget ah must just tell ye about Denis Law. When ah went tae Huddersfield, ah had charge o' the resairves, an' this wee boy o' 15 was one of them. Ye wouldna' hae thought so tae look at him but he had everything. He was fiery an' he was talented an' he was earmarked tae be a star. He was tae become one o' the greatest players ah ever set eyes on. Aye, he was that."

After this diversion Shankly picked up his management thread as if he had never left it. "As for me, if they're no' satisfied wi' me, they'll get rid o' me. We have a responsibility tae the people o' Liverpool. There was a great potential at Anfield when ah went there and ah like tae think ah have helped tae realise that potential. We have got tae try and maintain the high standard we have set, keepin' in line wi' other teams wi' ambition, an' mebbe winnin' the League Championship again. That would gi' us a record haul of eight league titles, one more than Manchester United and Arsenal."

Shankly is young enough to have expectations of seeing that day, successful enough to withstand those tribulations to which so many of his kind have succumbed, patient enough to go on making a living until he can retire and take Nessie, his long-suffering wife, on their first real holiday in 25 years. When they went to a football match during their honeymoon, Nessie had a hint of what was in store in the years ahead. "A wonderful, understanding woman," said Shankly, whose present idea of a holiday is to stay in bed until mid-morning.

He neither smokes nor drinks but sees no reason why others should not do so - in moderation - and he has a lively sense of humour, although he is not conscious of it. If he were asked to think of something funny, he would be a slow starter. He is, however, master of the "off the cuff" type of humour and frequently reduces his players and press conference to hysterics with asides he had meant to be taken seriously. The sayings of Shankly are as forthright and weighty as the sayings of Mao. In the streets around Anfield they are also much more respected.

Shankly is not impressed easily nor is he a willing subject for embarrassment. When he put through his own goal in Tom Finney's testimonial, he was no more remorseful than a lad caught pinching jam from the larder. Only once, perhaps, did he go close to blushing. He played in a game alongside Frank Soo of Stoke City and afterwards a Scottish selector among the crowd went up and put his arm round Shankly's shoulder. "Well done, Soo," he said. "You played a blinder." "He thought ah was the Chinese because of the way ma hair was cut," explains Shankly, and his chuckle is that of a corncrake in search of a mate.

I think it would be an exaggeration to say that Shankly is regarded generally as a "popular" manager - except at Anfield, where the Kop acknowledges him to be omnipotent. He is not as aloof as he used to be but he is not easy to know, not easy to draw out. His conversation, like the man himself, is fitful. He speaks in Morse, as it were. But for all that he is, and always has been, among the genuinely dedicated managers and his success as a player and as a manager has been achieved the hard way. He has in his time made mistakes over transfers - that is my view, not his - but he covered them up effectively. Above all, Shankly is a players' man who knows that if he fights for them, they will fight for him. It seems a sound philosophy.

The Duke of Wellington is reported to have made sure personally that his troops - who did most of the work - had comfortable billets. Shankly subscribes to the same principles and now squeezes the duties of accommodation inspector into his already congested schedule.

Before I left him, Shankly summoned the manager of a hotel and gave him his instructions. "There'll be, eh, 17, in the party," he said. "So, eh, that'll be 17 fillet steaks - ah'll let ye know how we want them done when we arrive - wi' chips. For afterwards, eh, there'll be 17 fresh fruit salads an' fresh cream. Right? Then for breakfast, eh ..." A players' man indeed.

thanks to www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/jul/28/liverpool

RONALDO TO STAR IN REMAKE OF 'ROOTS'

2008-07-27T19:30:00.001-03:00

FOOTBALLER Cristiano Ronaldo is being lined up to star in a multi-million dollar remake of the epic TV series Roots.

Producers say the star's treatment at the hands of Manchester United make him the perfect choice to portray the young African slave who is beaten by his brutal masters.

The Portuguese winger said he had been traumatised by 'outrageous' demands that he honour the £125,000 a week, legally-binding contract, which has brought him only, misery, adulation and Gemma Atkinson.

Speaking from the titanium gazebo in the rose garden of his 31-room mansion, Ronaldo said: "I feel I can relate to the suffering of African slaves.

"If anything, it is worse, because footballers cannot sing while we work, whereas they had time to develop gospel music during their 16-hours shifts before dropping dead from exhaustion."

In the series a young African boy is dragged from his homeland and shipped to America where he is forced to work in the fields by a cruel and violent plantation owner.

"The similarities are uncanny, though admittedly, the Lear Jet that flew me from Lisbon to Manchester wasn't packed with 150 other players sleeping head-to-toe."

Ronaldo also conceded that, while the slave-master in Roots administered brutal beatings, Man Utd boss Sir Alex Ferguson had nurtured his talent, lavished him with praise and turned him into one of the best footballers in the world.

"But without the freedom to do whatever I want, wherever I want, for whatever fee I want, I am exactly the same as a cotton picker forced to live in a shed, dying at the age of 32."

He added: "I know the people will love my acting. Already, in the streets, I hear many of them calling me 'Kunta'."

HILL FROM HELL

2008-07-27T19:23:00.002-03:00

Thanks to Mike Molloy

15 YEAR OLD IS THE NEW JOHNNY CASH

2008-07-27T19:13:00.002-03:00

Discovered singing on a Seattle street, Vince Mira, 15, is a somewhat shy kid who looks uncomfortable during a TV interview. But when he steps up to the microphone to sing Johnny Cash's classic "Ring of Fire," the result is downright spooky. He performs the song on Ellen Degeneres show

and here is another one

DO MOBILE PHONES GIVE OFF RADIATION?..... WHAT DO YOU THINK

2008-07-25T21:01:00.002-03:00

COPY CARS FROM CHINA... IT HAD TO HAPPEN

2008-07-24T19:47:00.005-03:00

BMW 7 Series vs. BYD F6

Mercedes C-Class vs. Geely Merrie 300

Vauxhall (Opel) Frontera vs. Landwind

European Smart vs. Chinese Smart

Toyota Logo vs. Geely Logo

OUCH

2008-07-24T19:30:00.004-03:00

No Running in the House!

How many times have we been told...and told our children NOT to run in the house? Did we always listen? Do they listen? Not always.
Sometimes our seemingly futile efforts fail, and 'boo-boo's' happen.
Here is a little feller who didn't listen, and he got his own souvenir scars. Perhaps he'll learn from his mistake.

Doesn't look SO bad. Perhaps he should keep this next photo handy
to explain the way it happened - - - -
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow
ow

AUSSIE HUMOUR

2008-07-24T19:28:00.001-03:00

BELIEVE IN BIGFOOT

2008-07-23T19:14:00.000-03:00

BIG SNAKE

2008-07-23T18:51:00.001-03:00

ORDER A PIZZA, BUT BEWARE OF THE GOVERNMENT...

2008-07-23T03:03:00.004-03:00

Turn your sound up and click the pizza

WHAT IS HELL

2008-07-23T01:16:00.001-03:00

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world to day.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives us two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

THIS IS SERIOUSLY BRILLIANT

2008-07-21T20:07:00.001-03:00

1. GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITE:

http://www.tatuagemdaboa.com.br/

2. TYPE YOUR FIRST NAME ON THE 1st LINE

3. TYPE YOUR LAST NAME ON THE 2nd LINE

(Skip your e-mail address.)

4. Click on 'Vizualizar' and watch what happens.

Don't ask me how they do that!

Thanks to Mike Molloy

HOW DO I FIX.......

2008-07-21T04:07:00.002-03:00

The Fix It Club offers you 175+ Fix It Guides with illustrated steps to guide you in troubleshooting and repairing or recycling anything around your home and household.

From repairing your mechanical clock to your wooden furniture and from your electric tooth brush to your coffee grinder.

CLICK THE LOGO

Schoolboys disciplined for 'refusing to pray to Allah'

2008-07-20T22:01:00.002-03:00

By Nick Britten

Last Updated: 12:37AM BST 05/07/2008

Two schoolboys were allegedly disciplined after refusing to kneel down and "pray to Allah" during a religious education lesson.

A spokesman for Cheshire County Council said 'Educating children in the beliefs of different faiths is part of Cheshire's diversity curriculum'

It was claimed that the boys, from a year seven class of 11 and 12-year-olds, were given detention after refusing to take part in a practical demonstration of how Allah is worshipped.

Yesterday parents accused the school of breaching their human rights by forcing them to take part in the exercise.

One, Sharon Luinen, said: "This isn't right, it's taking things too far. I understand that they have to learn about other religions. I can live with that but it is taking it a step too far to be punished because they wouldn't join in Muslim prayer.

"Making them pray to Allah, who isn't who they worship, is wrong and what got me is that they were told they were being disrespectful."

Another parent Karen Williams, 38, whose 12-year-old daughter is a classmate of the boys, said: "I am absolutely furious my daughter was made to take part in it and I don't find it acceptable.

"The teacher had gone into the class and made them watch a short film and then said 'we are now going out to pray to Allah'.

"Then two boys got detention and all the other children missed their refreshments' break."

She added: "Not only was it forced upon them, my daughter was told off for not doing it right.

"They'd never done it before and they were supposed to do it in another language."

She said the pupils were asked if they had water on them, and when one girl produced a bottle, the teacher began washing her feet with it.

Her husband Keith, 44, a painter and decorator, said: "The school is wonderful but this one teacher has made a major mistake. It seems to be happening throughout society. People think they can ride roughshod over our beliefs and the way we live."

The alleged incident, at the Alsager school, one of Cheshire's top performing schools, happened on Tuesday afternoon. The teacher, Alison Phillips, the school's subject leader in RE, is understood to be staying away from the school until the furore dies down, although she has not been suspended.

She is said to have got prayer mats out of the cupboard and also asked children to wear Islamic headdresses.

Deputy headmaster Keith Plant said: "I have spoken to the teacher and she has articulately given me her version of events."

Sources at the school said the incident could have been down to Miss Phillips instigating a role play and not properly briefing the pupils, all aged around 12, what she was doing.

A spokesman for Cheshire County Council said they were investigating. He added: "The headteacher contacted the authority immediately complaints were received. Enquiries are being made into the circumstances as a matter of urgency and all parents will be informed accordingly.

"Educating children in the beliefs of different faiths is part of Cheshire's diversity curriculum on the basis that knowledge is, of course, is essential to understanding.

"We accept that such teaching has to be conducted with commonsense and sensitivity."

FROM www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2247388/Schoolboys-disciplined-for-%27refusing-to-pray-to-Allah%27.html

35 FACEBALLS IN 32 SECONDS

2008-07-20T21:45:00.000-03:00

THE PERFECT GIFT FOR AMERICAN SCHOOLCHILDREN

2008-07-20T21:29:00.002-03:00

IF YOU HAVE EVER WORRIED ABOUT THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS

2008-07-20T21:15:00.003-03:00

CLICK HERE
http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/x658f

QUICK JOKES ABOUT WOMEN

2008-07-20T20:05:00.004-03:00

According to "Modern Bride" magazine, the average bride spends 150 hours planning her wedding. The average groom spends 150 hours going, "Yeah, that sounds good."

According to a survey on Match.com, 37% of single people think splitting the bill is okay on a dinner date. The other 63% were women.

"Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Married and Unmarried."

"Wild horses couldn't drag a secret out of most women. However, women seldom have lunch with wild horses."

"No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing."

When your wife says, "What do you think?" she is not asking for YOUR opinion. She is asking for HER opinion, from your mouth.

I've had more women --- than MOST people --- have noses.

I saw an ATTRACTIVE woman in a bar & I said, "Your glass is empty. Do you want ANOTHER one?"
She said, "What am I going to do with 2 empty glasses?"

According to a new study at Duke University, depressed women live longer. Well, that should cheer them up - not only is your life miserable, it's going to go on for a long time.

"If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable."

"As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied."

I'm going out with a homeless woman now. That's great - after a date you can drop her off anywhere.

Question: What is the best way to pick up a girl in a gym?
Answer: Pull-ups. You pull-up in a Porsche, pull up in a corvette...

I don't think women's lib has changed anything. At least that's what my Avon man tells me.

Ten Things that Men Know about Women
1 They have pussies
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10 Oh yes, they have tits as well

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.

The reason women don’t play football, is because you can’t get eleven of them to appear in public in the same outfit.

Women say they prefer men, to have a sense over humour over good looks. Liars, who would you, rather have removing your bra……. Brad Pitt or the Three Stooges.

I’m going to open a brothel for women only. This is how it works. You come in and pay your money. The guy will pretend he likes talking to you, and is really interested in the fight you had with your mother on the phone. Then he puts his arms around you, and says “Wow, you’re so thin, have you lost weight?” Then he makes mad passionate love to you, and just at the moment of climax, he shouts out “I can’t believe how great your shoes match your dress”.

GIFS OF THE WEEK

2008-07-20T19:56:00.002-03:00

JOKES OF THE WEEK

2008-07-20T19:46:00.002-03:00

Billy Bob says to Lester: "You know... I reckon I'm about ready for a vacation, only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice as to where to go. Two years ago you said to me to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii, and Marie got pregnant. Then last year, you told me to go to the Bahamas. I went to the Bahamas, and Marie got pregnant again."
Lester says: "So what you gonna do different this year?"
Billy Bob says: "This year, I'm going to take Marie with me..."

Finding her young son scooping ice cream in the kitchen, a mother raged, "Dinner is going to be ready soon. Put that ice cream away and go and play."
"But mum" wailed the child, "There's no one to play with."
"OK," said the mother wearily, "I'll play with you. What do you want to play?"
"Lets play mummy and daddy. You go upstairs and lie on the bed."
So the mother went upstairs and lay on the bed. The boy put on his father's fishing hat, lit up one of his cigars, went upstairs and opened the bedroom door. Seeing him standing there, the mother asked, "Now what do I do?"
The boy answered, "Get your arse out of bed, you lazy bitch, go downstairs and fix that kid some fucking ice cream!"

My girlfriend said she wanted to have a serious talk to me about our relationship. We had a nice meal and some wine and then she started. "I think we need to decide in what direction our relationship is going." "I feel we are at a crossroads: one path leads to hardship and commitment but, ultimately, to happiness and joy; the other, well, it just leads to a dead end." She paused. "So what do you say?"
I thought about it for a while and then replied, "That's not a crossroads, you silly cow, that's a T-Junction"

I was away on a business trip and had to stay in a hotel for a couple days. Unfortunately, it was my wife's birthday while I was away. So I thought I'd surprise her with a dirty birthday phone call.
I rang my home number and this voice said hello, so I quickly said, "I really love your sexy body and gorgeous pert breasts. Tomorrow I'm going to rip your knickers off, give you the best oral sex you've ever had, then I'll cover you in melted chocolate before licking it off slowly, then we'll have the most passionate steamy sex you've ever known! How does that sound babe?"
"It sounds fantastic, but to get an outside line you have to dial 9..."

I don't usually watch these sort of programmes on TV, but the today I thought I'd give it a go.
Basically I've just sat for 2 hours watching a house full of egotistical, fame-hungry, gay, bisexual, perverted, drunken and blind morons who are hopelessly out of touch with reality.
They spend all day lounging around the house without doing anything constructive, all the while talking mindless crap and shouting over one another to see who can grab the most attention of the viewing public.
And at the end of this brain numbing bullshit, I was still no closer to deciding who I should vote for....
Labour or Conservative?

A bloke was having a few drinks by himself at a Sydney casino when he met up with a striking but quite short and slim young woman. They got on famously and ended up in bed.

The next morning she told him she was a jockey and that if he came to the races at Randwick that day, she'd tip him the winner of each race she was riding in by giving him a sign as she rode out of the saddling paddock.

In Race 2, she rode out rubbing both her boobs. The bloke looked through the race book and found "Two Abreast" on which he placed $100 at 5-1. It won by two lengths.

In Race 4 she rode out rubbing her fingers round her eyes. He put the lot on "Eyeliner" at 10-1 and was then $5000 in front.

In the last race she came out standing up in the stirrups and rubbing her growler. He backed nothing.

After the races, he met up with her and thanked her for the winners in races 2 and 4. "What about 'Itchy Mickey' in the sixth?" she asked. "It paid fortune?" "Shit", he said, "I thought you were telling me the cunt was scratched!"

PICS OF THE WEEK

2008-07-20T19:35:00.006-03:00

WHAT IS GLOBALIZATION

2008-07-19T03:12:00.002-03:00

Finally,
a definition of globalization that I can understand and to which I now can relate:

Question:
What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer:
Princess
Diana’s
death.

Question:
How come?

Answer :

An
English princess
with an
Egyptian boyfriend

crashes
in a French tunnel,
driving a

German
car

with a
Dutch engine,

driven
by a Belgian

who was
drunk

on
Scottish whisky,

(check the bottle before you
change the spelling),

followed
closely by

Italian
Paparazzi,

on
Japanese motorcycles;

treated
by an American doctor,
using

Brazilian
medicines.

This is
sent to you by

an
American,

using
Bill Gates’s technology,

and
you’re probably reading
this on your computer,

that
uses Taiwanese chips,
and

Korean
monitor,

assembled
by

Bangladeshi
workers

in a
Singapore plant,

transported
by Indian

lorry-drivers,

hijacked
by Indonesians,

unloaded by
Sicilian longshoremen,

and
trucked to you by Mexican illegals…. .

That, my friends,
is what I call Globalization!

FANCY DRESS PARTY

2008-07-18T20:22:00.002-03:00

Hope this gives you a chuckle on an otherwise dreary morning! . . . . .

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a Xmas fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a Pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.

The man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he receives another parcel and note:

Dear Sir,

Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.

The man is really incandescent with rage now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really strong letter of complaint. A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:

Dear Sir,

Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.

We suggest you pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head,

stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.

MIDDLE AGED WOMEN SHOULD STAY HOME

2008-07-17T03:11:00.002-03:00

WILLY WIGS

2008-07-14T18:52:00.014-03:00

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